Forgive & Forget
by Sushi1976
Summary: "I was 16 when I found out the truth, My whole world started to crash. I felt betrayed, and lied to." Ashley spoke with Sadness in her voice.
1. Chapter 1

New Start

_ASHLEY_

I layed in my bed watching the minutes pass by, before my alarm would go off. It was a new school year, and a fresh start for me. I was going into my senior year of high school. My high school experience was suppose to be a good one, at lease that's one everyone says. Mine was full of revealing secrets that eventually led me to see a therapist once a week. Freshman year I realized I was more into girls then my handsome boyfriend at the time, he also realized he liked my sister more then me. Sophomore year I was introduced to alcohol, weed, and some other things like sex. That year was a lot of fun. I even got closer to my sister, and met some pretty cool people. Everything was going great, then a knock at the door happen. Two things happen. I saw my father get angry for the first time, and then saw him cry for the first time also.

The lady that was at the door was Christine Davies, my biological mother. For 16 years of my life my father and mother have been Ralfie and Amy Davies. Turns out my mother left when I was just a week old, apparently she couldn't handle being a mother. My father and her broke up a few months before and that's when he met Amy. When they both realized Christine wasn't coming back, Amy agreed to raise me as her own. She didn't want me to grow up without a mother, and she was already having my fathers baby. Kyla Davies is biologically my half sister, but I wouldn't ever call her that. They knew they would have to tell me the truth eventually, but it killed my dad to have to sit me down and tell me. He knew he should have told me sooner, but the time was never right.

I was 16 and found out my parents, and my life was made up from a lie. I couldn't look at Amy and not think about her not being my mother. I wanted answers, I wanted to know why I wasn't good enough for my mother. I couldn't take the pain, and the anger I was feeling. I started to lash out, and that made my parents to put me in therapy. I didn't blame them, some nights they would sit up waiting for me to come home. Every time there phones would go off they were afraid it was the call to say I went to far and was gone for good.

What made me stop? I did push it to far, and needed my stomach pump. I woke up to find my family crying, and begging me to stop. My little sister wouldn't leave my side, she was afraid she was going to leave me for good. I agreed to enter a program for teens who struggle with substance abuse, and for mental health. I spent the whole summer working, and helping others around our community. I met some really cool people, and started a friendship with Spencer Carlin. Her parents ran the program, and she helped out. After there oldest overdosed, they wanted to help others before it was too late. She went to our high school, and was even friends with Kyla and Aiden. I just was in my own world to give her the time of day.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I shut off my alarm, and sit up on my bed. A new year. A new me.


	2. Chapter 2

Work in Progress

ASHLEY

School was so far good. I got through most of my classes without falling asleep. It was lunch and I thought I would spend it in the music room. I loved playing, but didn't really like playing in front of others. I was taking this time to finish a song I was working on through the summer. The melody was there, but I couldn't find the right words.

"_Family feuds, saying Mom's confused. I'm for sure she doesn't wanna learn. My daddy's gone, say he's never home And wishing' only makes it worse" _I stopped singing when I realized I wasn't alone.

"New song?" I looked up at Spencer, she cut her hair since the last time we saw each other.

"Just trying to find the words, its a work in progress still" she nodded, and took a seat next to me.

"Well it sounds amazing so far; when are you going to share your talent with others?"

"I rather keep them for my self" She nodded, and started to play with the keys of the piano.

"I get it. How are you doing being back?" I knew she was concerned, I shared at one of meetings that I was nervous coming back.

"I'm okay, just trying to get through boring classes" We both laughed, and she stood as the bell went off.

"Well I'm here if you need me. We also have some classes together, so you better show" she pointed her finger at me.

"I wouldn't dare flake on you Carlin" I pretended to be hurt by her words, and laughed as she shook her head.

"Don't hide on me Davies, I missed your face at lunch" I smiled as I watch her leave.

Over the summer we became close. It helped that we kinds knew of each other, well she knew me more then I knew her. Every friendship has that moment you both just click, and ours was when she heard me sing to a teen I was visiting in the hospital. She had been sick for months, and wouldn't make it to see her 18th birthday. She requested a song, and I couldn't deny her. Spencer was there watching me, and gave me a hug when I walked out needing to some fresh air.

I wouldn't be lieing if I said we didn't flirt with each other. Spencer was just as gay as I was, and out to everyone. Her parents even ran a meeting to help other parents with LGBT children. Her parents were heroes in my eyes, but Spencer had told me it was a lot of fights that got them to where they are. As a catholic family, it was hard to have a son who was an addict, and a gay daughter.

Spencer was the one person who never judge me for my past mistakes. She always called me out on my bullshit, and turned me down so fast it gave me whip lash. We even shared a moment where we almost kissed, but then my parents came home and we never talked about it. I don't think I would have made it through this summer without her, I guess you could say she was my best friend.

* * *

Songs Used: Saturday Night by Khalid


	3. What Now?

To my readers:

I am sorry I have not updated some of my stories. Sometimes you start a story and then you blank on where you were going with it. I will try my best to finish them. For now please enjoy this story. Writing has always help me cope with life struggles that come into play. I started writting fanfiction when I lost my father, and came back to write again after I lost my mother. I am now 28 newly married to my wonderful Wife, and we are hoping to start a family. With this I needed some time to just break free from the caos, and well here I am . I love when you review my chapters, and leave me messages. It give me so much satisfaction, and makes my days brighter. This story is close to home and I hope I give it justice it deserves. I won't be posting anymore messages, this will be my first and last in this story. I just wanted to say thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoy this one . Please Review and tell me what you think ! - xo Sushi1976

* * *

What Now?

ASHLEY

The last class of the day always took the longest, the minutes slowly going by. It didn't help that I was stuck learning about, what ever this class is. I looked over at Spencer, she was of course paying attention and writing down notes. She caught me watching her, and gave me that look that says I should pay attention. I rolled my eyes, and turned back to the teacher.

"We are going to start this semester by picking out a novel of your choice..."

RING RING RING

"Excuse me one second class while I take this" We watched as she picked up the phone, nodding to what ever was said to her.

I took this moment to look over at Spencer again, this time she was looking at me already with a smile.

"You need to pay attention Ash, I'm not going to bail you out"

"Spencer I made it this far without your help, I think I can manage to pass um what ever class this is" we both laughed.

"It's English Ash"

"What, again? Why do we have to take this class again"

"Its just how it is, beside you write songs, so you should be good at English" I smiled, I was going to reply when we saw the teacher hang up the phone.

"Davies, you are wanted in the Guidance counsellors office" I looked over at Spencer shrugging my shoulders.

"Maybe they messed up your schedule" she said with a smirk.

"Maybe I am so smart they have to let me graduate today!" we both laughed, as I walked my self out of the class down to the office.

As I walked in, I looked around for someone to tell me who I was here to see, and why. I took a seat, and grabbed one of the brochures they had. Of course the one I took was about having safe sex, I couldn't help but laugh at the diagrams.

"Safe sex is no laughing matter Davies" I looked up to see Mrs. Jordan. She always knew how to crack up the best jokes.

"Well at lease I don't have that problem, do you?" She just shook her head, and guided me to her office.

"So Mrs. Jordan what brings me here?"

"Well Ashley I want to talk about your plans for this year?" Her office has changed since last year, she definitely went on more trips.

"Just the normal plans to get the hell out of here like everyone else"

"How about your social life, any plans on getting into trouble?" There it is folks, the past coming to bite my tiny ass.

"Look I messed up last year, and its not going to happen this year. I was going through a lot and I didn't find the proper safe ways to deal with the emotions I was dealing with" Gotta love having a therapist sometimes.

"Have you found safe ways since then?"

"Yes my parents have put me into a program, and a friend of mine has been making sure to check up on me through the day. Look if I promise to come see you when I want to break something, get high, or drink will you just let me be a normal teen?"

"Ashley we are just concerned about you, and want to make sure we are here to help you in any way possible" I got up from my chair when the bell rang.

"I'm fine. I just want to get through this year, and decide what the next stage of my life is going to bring" She nodded, finally she was satisfied.

"Okay, but I think you should talk to someone Ashley."

"Don't worry Mrs. Jordan, my parents already got me a Therapist"

"Okay, I'll be paying attention to your school attendence Ashley. Any slip ups, and your back in here got it?"

"Yes"

I walked out of the office and headed straight for my locker. I hated knowing every person in the school knew I fucked up. Some of them think I partied to hard, others think someone drugged me, and then there is my family and teachers who think I tried to kill my self. The truth is, part of me wishes I died just so I didn't see the disappointment on there faces.

"Hey I grabbed your books" I took my books from Spencer, and smiled when she handed me her notes.

"Thanks Spencer, I owe you"

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just the yearly check in to make sure I'm sane"

"I see, well do you want to grab some food and head to the game?"

"I think I'm going to pass, besides don't you have a date for the game?" Spencer and Carmen have been hanging out lately, and have been going on dates.

"She is going to meet me there, but it's not a date. We finally talked, and we agreed to be friends" I nodded, and we started to walk towards my car.

"Well I hope you both have fun, I really just want to take a nice hot shower and just listen to some music." She nodded, and took her keys out of her pocket.

"If you get bored, feel free to come join in on some school spirit"

"If I get that bored and desperate you will be the first person I find" we gave each other a hug, and went are separate ways.


	4. Dear God

Dear God

ASHLEY

My parents of course were shocked to see me home right after school. I just shrugged and said being a teen is tough these days. My dad just laughed and told me dinner would be take out since they weren't expecting my sister and I home. I finished my homework, and even took a shower before I was called down for dinner.

"How was your first day Sweetie" my mom asked me, while putting some salad onto her plate.

"It was alright, got called down to talk to Mrs. Jordan"

"Oh, is everything okay?" My parents knew who she was, since she worked with them getting my homework while I was getting better.

"Yeah, she just wanted to make sure I was on a good path" I wiped my mouth, and took a sip of my coke.

"Any plans for your birthday?" my father asked.

"Haven't really thought about it, why you getting me something good?"

"Maybe, you will have to find out" I smiled, grabbing are dishes to start washing them. I didn't really mind washing dishes, it was therapeutic at times.

"Ashley your father and I wanted to discuss something with you, and I think since your sister isn't home now would be the time" I didn't bother to look at my mother, I knew this was going to be bad news.

"Okay, what is it?"

"Can you come sit?" I dried off my hands, taking a seat in front of them at the table.

"As you know, you will be turning 18"

"Yup, I will be" I couldn't help but be sarcastic, I hate these kind of talks.

"It means you will be an adult, and as an adult you can make decision without your father and I. This being said, if you want to meet Christine we will give you her information. Weather you go alone, or bring one of us with you. As your parents we will support you either way" I didn't know what to say, I looked at my father who never stopped looking at his hands.

"Didn't she already try to see me?" My father took this time to finally look at me.

"She did, and I told her to leave. She is the one that left you, she doesn't get to choose to come back when it suits her. I want you to make that choice, when you are ready." I could feel the anger behind his words, she must have really hurt him.

"Is she dangerous?"

"Not that we know of. We don't know why she left, but maybe she will have answers we don't" my mother said, grabbing my hand.

"Can I just think about it?" They both nodded.

"Okay" I got up from the table, wanting to go see a stupid football game after all.

I gave both my parents kisses, and headed out the door. I didn't really know how to deal with the info that was given to me. Did I want to see her? Did I want to know why she left, and why she never tried to see me except that once time. I kept driving, letting the music float through the car. Why didn't she want me, was I not good enough for her. I slammed on my breaks, and got out of the car. I couldn't breathe, I looked around and all I could see were flashing lights. Where was I...

"Ashley!" I felt hands on my shoulders, they were holding my body still. The earth finally stopped moving, and I slowly opened my eyes.

"Spencer... I'm sorry I..."

"Shhh its okay" I let her arms wrap around me, letting my body melt into hers. I closed my eyes as I listen to her breathing, as my heart started to beat more regular.

"You okay?" She asked pulling away from me a bit, but still rubbing my shoulders.

"Yeah I think so, I don't know what just happen"

"I think you had an anxiety attack, can you look at me?" I didn't even realize I had my eyes still closed, I open them to find her blue orbs looking right at me.

"God your beautiful" She blushed at my words.

"Thanks, so are you. How about we take a seat, and you can tell me what is going on" I nodded, taking in where I was. I was at the game, and apparently they won as I saw Aiden celebrating.

"My parents told me that they would help me meet Christine, if that's why I wanted. They are letting me decide"

"Wow, so they know where she is?"

"I guess so, ugh why is this so hard to deal with. She didn't want me, why would I want to even know who is she"

"Because we are afraid of the unknown, but curious as well"

"Spencer we aren't in school, please stop using big words" We both laughed, and she grabbed my hand.

"You are curious as to who she is, what she is like, and why she left. You are also scared that she will hurt you, and hurt the ones you love." I nodded, as I watch her play with my rings on my fingers.

"What should I do?"

"Do you need an answer right away?"

"No, they said when I turned 18."

"Well your birthday isn't for a couple of weeks, so just think about it. Until then, you can tell me what you want for your birthday, and what you want to do" I smiled, and got up from where we were sitting.

"I got everything I want or need right here" I wrapped my arms around her, giving her a hug.

"Are you trying to put the moves on me Davies?"

"Would I have a chance if I were?" she pulled her head back, enough I could feel her nose on mine.

"Maybe, I always wanted to know what it was like to kiss thee Ashley Davies" I rolled my eyes, and took a moment to really look at her.

"Well, now is your chance. What are you going to do Carlin?" I watch her eyes go down to my lips, and back up to my eyes.

"Well well if it isn't Davies, where have you been hiding chica. I heard you went cold on us.?" I turned my head to face Madison. Great this should be fun, I let go of Spencer making sure she was behind as I turned my body towards Maddy.

"Hey Mads, long time no talk. Hows it going?" I looked behind her, my old friends were all standing there watching the interaction.


	5. Save My Soul

Save My Soul

ASHLEY

"I'm not here to cause trouble, I saw you and I wanted to say I'm sorry" I was kinda in shock, I have never heard Madison apologize to anyone.

"For?" I felt Spencer hand on my back, as she moved to my side.

"I should have did more to keep you away from Danielle, I should have had your back."

"Maddy you didn't give me the drugs"

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have met Danielle. I know you were with her that night, I know she fed you drugs" I looked down at my shoes, then at back up.

"Madison I was in a place where I didn't want help, I didn't think I needed it. You were just being my friend, and helping me escape from stress of my life. You didn't know I would get so close to Danny, and that I would get into harder drugs then just pot. Please don't beat your self up over it" She smiled, and gave me a hug.

"I'm so happy your okay Ash, I flipped out on everyone when I heard. Smoking weed is all good, but anything harder then your playing with fire." I nodded, and looked behind her.

"How is everyone?"

"Good. They all feel just as bad, they never lost someone or came close to someone overdosing that they knew. Give them time, they will come around."

"Tell them I say hi okay?" She nodded, and looked over at Spencer.

"Looking good Carlin, keeping up the grades?" I looked between them, they knew each other?

"Of course, hows college?"

"Great, I came to watch my lil sister cheer. Hows yours parents?"

"I thought that was her, They are good. I think they would love to see you, don't be a stranger. My father still makes your favourite" They both laughed, and Madison looked back at me.

"Don't lose this one Davies, she is a keeper" She winked, and walked away.

I watched as she went back to the others, and I gave them a wave. I did miss them, but I knew I still was scared to go around that group. Maddy and I met while I was in the park getting high, and she suggested I smoke up where cops don't patrol. After school she would meet me at the park, and we would just talk. Eventually her friends became mine, including Danielle.

"You know Maddy?" I asked.

"Yeah" She barely would look at me, then it clicked. Fuck I'm an idiot.

"Spencer I am so sorry, I just realized why she knew you" She place her hands into her pockets, and took a seat on the bleacher beside us.

"It's fine, its all in the past now. I mean I'm still..." I put my hand on her leg to stop her.

"I get it Spence, you have accepted what has happen." She nodded.

"It took me a while, but I finally stopped blaming my self" I gave her a questioning look, and she continued.

"I thought it my fault he did drugs because are parents were fighting all the time. My mother was having a hard time with me being gay, and my father wanted her to just let it go. It got to the point where they worked a lot, and were never home. They barely saw us, or even came to one of Glens games. I knew my brother smoked weed, but I didn't know about the harder stuff. Madison came over one night asking to speak to all of us. She was concerned he was getting himself into harder stuff. She was right. After a week of just paying attention to only him, my parents called for a intervention to help him."

"Did it help at all?"

"At first it did. He went through detox right before graduation, then by the end of summer he was gone. The police found him down at the beach, with a needle still in him" I watched as she wiped the tear away.

"We tried to find out how he got a hold of heroin, he was only 18. The cops investigated, but it was a dead end. Madison was heartbroken, she stop doing weed. I know she does now, but I think its to help with everything"

"She talked about losing someone close, that weed was the only high that would keep the memory good"

"Anyway, that's how I know Madison." I looked over and saw Aiden and my sister coming towards us, I decided it was time to change the subject.

"Where is Carmen, I thought she was meeting you here" Spencer must of realized why I changed the subject, because she was wiping her face.

"She left just before you got here, her parents wanted her home" I nodded, and almost fell over when my sister jumped on my back.

"Fuck Kyla, get off of me!"

"We won Ash! Lets celebrate!" Spencer and Aiden were laughing at us, and Aiden caught Kyla as I tossed her off.

"You didn't do any of the work Kyla, how about we let Aiden decide"

"Fine, but you better make a good choice mister" As she pointed at him, and started to walk towards my car.

"How about we go for ice cream?"

"I knew I loved you" Spencer smiled at me, and we both turn to watch Kyla give Aiden a kiss.

"ewe gross, do that behind closed doors"

"Your just jealous you don't have anyone to kiss" my sister stuck her tongue out at me, and I smiled as I felt Spencer hand slide into mine.

"Get in the car Kyla" I said rolling my eyes, and interlocking my fingers with Spencer's.


	6. 11 Minutes

11 Minutes

ASHLEY

Its been a couple of weeks since the first day of school, and since the game night. Spencer and I have been spending more time together, and she is still holding my hand when no one is looking. The other night she came over to watch movies, and she didn't hesitant on cuddling into me. We haven't talked about whats going on between us, I don't think I want to know. I think she just wants a friendship from me, and likes to feel close to me.

"Ashley, she is ready for you" I nodded, and walked into the office of my therapist. I didn't think I needed to see her again, but my parents said they at lease want me to check in once in a while.

"Hello Ashley, how are we doing these days?" I sat down in one of the chairs.

"Great, got nothing to really sort out here doc." She smiled, and took a seat in front of me.

"You returned to school, how is that going for you?"

"Good I guess, mind you math is kicking my ass." I rolled my eyes.

"Math wasn't my area either, will math stop you from your future plans?"

"It will stop me from graduating, and I rather not stay longer then I should" I saw her write stuff down, what did she have to write down from that info.

"You want to graduate?"

"Of course, I don't want to be a drop out. I have thought of getting my G.E.D, but my parents would never allow it"

"Why not?"

"I just think they want me to stay in school, get the full experience"

"Have you asked them?"

"No, but I think they would say no" I started to play with my rings on my fingers.

"You won't know till you ask, if they say yes would you get it?"

"I don't know, I like going to school sometimes. I think I'll miss my friends, and maybe some of the teachers" She smiled, and jotted down some notes.

"Who would you miss the most?"

"Spencer"

"You didn't have to think about that long, who is this Spencer?"

"She is a friend of mine, her parents run the program I was in" she nodded.

"What about your sister, or other friends. Would you miss them?" I got up from my chair and started to walk around the office.

"I see my sister all the time at home, and Aiden is always with her. So no I wouldn't."

"Any other friends?" I know where this is going.

"You mean my friends that got me onto drugs, no I wouldn't miss them"

"How did they get you onto drugs, did they force them onto you?"

"No, but they brought them around me. Look I know where this is going okay. They couldn't force me to take them, it was my own choice. I take full responsibility of my actions, now can we move on" She looked at me, wrote something down and spoke.

"Do you know why your parents wanted you to start therapy?"

"To help talk about everything, to get help for the things wrong with me"

"I don't think anything is wrong with you Ashley, I think you have a lot going on at a young age. Why did you turn to drugs?" I sat down, and thought about it.

"They help me stop thinking. They helped me get through not feeling like an outcast."

"Outcast, explain?"

"After my parents told me about Christine, I felt like I was just pushed in where I fit. Kyla is both biologically theirs, and I am just part of one. If Christine never left, would I still be part of their little family. Would Amy still think of me as her daughter"

"That's a lot of question for a teen, did you ever think of asking those to them?" I laughed.

"Why, they are just going to lie to me"

"You don't trust them?" I looked up at her, her notebook wasn't in her lap anymore.

"No, I don't"

"Do you trust anyone?"

"I don't know"

"What is trust to you Ashley?"

"That's a tough one doc"

"Well how about you think about it for the next week, and when you come back I want to know your thoughts okay?"

"Sure Doc" I got up from the chair, and started to walk to the door.

"Ashley, trust is something everyone needs. Without trust we can't live"

"I've been doing just fine doc, but I will think about it okay?"

"That's all I ask, maybe write a song about it" I smiled, and left her office.

As I drove out of the parking lot the subject was still on my mind. Did I really not trust anyone, did I not even trust my parents. I reach a red light and one of my books slid of the seat, I picked it up and remember why I had my math book. I was going to swing by Spencer's and see if she can help with my math homework.

I turned to drive towards her house, its wasn't far from mine. I hadn't been over to her house for a while, I found it weird since her parents saw me at my worst. They were great people, and I owe them greatly for helping me.

"Hello Ashley, what brings you by?" I waved to Mr. C as I got out of my car, and walked over to him by the garden.

"Just seeing if Spencer is home, I got some questions about the Math homework" He nodded.

"I think she is up in her room, go on up. Tell her supper will be ready in an hour, feel free to stay if you want. I am making homemade pizza"

"Sounds great, I am always up for some homemade pizza" He smiled and went back to watering his garden.

I walked into the house, soft music was playing. I took the time to look around. Pictures of the family were on the walls, and awards were scattered all about. I walked up the stairs looking at the pictures of each child as they got older and older. Spencer also had another brother Clay, they adopted him when he was just a baby. He is travelling for work, somewhere over seas. I should ask what he does, because I would love a job that would allow me to travel.

"Hey Spencer your dad..." I stopped as Spencer and Carmen pulled apart from each other.

"I'm going to go" Carmen said grabbing her stuff, rushing out of the room.

"I'm so sorry Spencer, your dad didn't say you had company" She wiped her lips, and looked over at me.

"Its fine, what did you need?"

"Spencer I thought you two were friends?"

"We are, its just... don't worry about it, just forget about it What did you need?" She walked over to her computer.

"I needed some help with Math" I held up my book, and she took it.

"What question are you stuck on?" I sat down on her bed.

"All of them" She laughed, and started to go through my work.

"Well you were on the right track, but you missed a step" She walked over to where I was, and started to show me what I missed.

"Okay, now it makes sense" I did another question, and she watch me.

"There, you got it. You just need to make sure you read the question more carefully, and follow all the steps" I nodded.

"Spencer what did I just walk in on?"

"Can we just forget you saw that?"

"If you want, but Spence we are friends you can talk to me"

"I know, its just I don't actually know what that was. We were just talking about us being friends, and how she wanted more. I was explaining that I just wanted to be friends, and then she kissed me."

"Why don't you want to be more then friends with her?"

"There is no connection there, I thought there was. I might have misled her when we kissed on our dates, but I wanted to make sure there was nothing there. She is a really nice girl, and so sweet. She just isn't what I want, and I wanted to explain that to her. I'm pretty sure she was going to tell me she was in love with me, so I am kinda thankful you walked in"

"Wow Spence, you got a girl to fall for you by just your lips" I laughed, and she hit me with her pillow.

"Its not funny Ash, What am I going to do. I don't want to loose her as a friend, but I know it will be awkward being around each other"

"I think she deserves the truth, even if it will hurt her. If she really does love you, then she will respect you and be your friend."

"Your right"

"Like always" I smirked, and she pushed my shoulder.

"That ego is starting to grow again"

"Just talk to her Spencer, even if you have to do it in a letter to make sure she doesn't put the moves on you again"

"Maybe I will, did you want to stay for dinner?"

"Sure, I'm up for some pizza"

"How did you...right my dad. Lets go" She grabbed my hand to pull me off the bed, and didn't let go till we are in the kitchen.

"Hello girls, the pizza is almost ready"

"Thanks dad, did you want help with anything?"

"If you want to set the table that would be great, your mother should be home any minute." We started to set the table, when I remember my question I wanted to ask.

"Hey Spencer, what does Clay do?"

"He is a photographer. He free lances for magazines, and different company's" I nodded, and took a seat at the table.

"Does he enjoy it?"

"I think so, you can ask him when he comes home next week"

"When is the last time you saw him, because I haven't met him" She looked into the kitchen, then at me.

"He comes home once in a while, but never stays. This will be his first time actually staying more then just a day. He had a hard time with Glen passing, they were best friends. Clay didn't really have a lot of friends, and Glen always made sure he was there for Clay" I nodded.

"Well I can't wait to meet him" She smiled.

"You think about being a photographer after high school?"

"Maybe, I like the idea of travelling the world"

"I would love it too, but I think I would miss my family. I know Clay enjoys it, but he always says he misses home"

"Well nothing is settles yet, I don't really know what I want to do after high school"

"I know I want to go to college, and would love to travel a bit" Spencer spoke, as she grabbed a piece of garlic bread.

"I don't think college is my thing, I can barely make it through high school"

"People change Ash, time will tell. You got your whole life to figure it out what you want to do" I smiled.

What does my future hold, what do I want to do after high school... hmm maybe I do need to think about this trust issue. How will I get far when I can't even trust my own family, will I be able to trust someone enough to let them in. I can't be in a relationship with someone without trusting them.

"Ash?"

"Ya?" I guess I zoned out.

"Stop thinking so much, I can smell the smoke coming from your ears" We all laughed, and that's when I clued in that both the Carlin parents have made them self's present at the table.


	7. The Truth

A/N: I know I said I wouldn't probably post messages here, but I just wanted to see how everyone is enjoying the story so far - Sushi2976

The Truth

ASHLEY

It was late by the time I had left Spencer's, we decided to finish some homework so Spencer could help me. Of course I lost track of time and my parents called looking for me, that's the last time I keep my phone on silent. I swear they were going to call the police if Mrs. C never answered the phone. I placed my keys in the side dish, and walked into the kitchen. My mom was finishing up the dishes, and I could see my fathers office light on.

"Hey mom" I said quietly, taking a seat at the kitchen table.

"Ashley please next time you decide not to come home right away please call or text us. We were worried"

"Mom I was just over at Spencer's, why did you freak out. You could have at lease waited till it was dark out to start calling all over for me" I grabbed my cell, turning it back on.

"Ash I know it gets really repetitive to hear, but we are always going to be extra worried..."

"Because I'm a junkie, and I might be in a ditch somewhere"

"No! Because you use to not come till late, then one night you didn't. That night will always have us terrified Ash."

"Mom you both have to start trusting me, and believing me when I say that's not my life anymore" She walked over and took a seat next to me.

"I know sweetie, its hard. You're our little girl, and we don't want something bad to happen to you" I smiled.

"I promise I will call next time"

"T hats all we ask, so how was therapy? You did go right?"

"Yes I went, and went fine"

"Just fine?" I looked at her.

"I don't know what you want me to say mom, it was therapy. We talked, that's it"

"Okay, but you know we are here to listen too"

"Then why am I talking to a stranger, and not you?"

"Would you like to?"

"I don't think you would like the thoughts that were going on in my head, a lot of questions" She leaned back, and folder her hands.

"So ask" I bit my lip, should I ask.

"Okay, if Christine stayed would you have?"

"What do you mean?"

"Would are little family still be us, or would I just be your step child who visited every other weekend?" She looked down at her hands, and then looked at me.

"I don't know Ash, I can't go back into the past and find out. I do know that when I met your father, he came with you. If I wanted him in my life, I had to have you too. I was more then happy to have you part of my life, and was blessed when he asked me to raise you as my own"

"What was she like?"

"I don't really know, I never met her. Your dad said she use to sing at the local bars, and she loved to read" I nodded, getting up from the table.

"Thanks mom" She got up, giving me a kiss on my head.

"I did find this, and thought you might want to look at it" she handed me my fathers yearbook.

"Why would I want to see old pics of my dad"

"Because your father and Christine were high school sweethearts" I nodded, and put the yearbook in my bag.

"Gotcha, Goodnight mom" I grabbed my bag and walked up stairs towards my room.

I stopped at mine, throwing my bag on my floor. I walked over to my closet changing into my jogging pants and a tank. I walked back over to my bed, taking out the yearbook. I quickly flipped the pictures to where I knew my father picture would be, and there it was. He looked really goofy with a perm, but I guess that was the style.

"Why are you looking at dads old yearbook?" I quickly closed it.

"Mom had it, and I got curious"

"Well maybe you can use his ugly picture to get you out of him grounding you for not calling?" she smirked, and walked into my room more.

"Was he mad?"

"Yeah, you can't do that stuff anymore Ash. They really panic when they don't know where you are"

"What are they going to do when I go off to college?"

"Well your will have to call every hour, send photos every day, and probably come home on weekends" We both laughed, but I felt like it was the honest truth.

"I won't be shocked if they never let me leave this house after high school"

"Wait, your going to college?" I shrugged.

"I don't know what I want to do yet"

"Does your future include one Spencer Carlin?" She elbowed my arm.

"How should I know"

"Oh come on Ash, are you that blind?" What was she talking about.

"Kyla you gotta stop getting dropped on your head" She hit me, and I couldn't help laughing.

"Ashley a blind person can see there is something between you two."

"Ky we are just friends, besides isn't she like your best friend?"

"So, I don't care if you date" I rolled my eyes at her answer.

"Even if I did like her more then a friend, I can't get into something serious right now. I am a recovering addict, in high school, trying to figure out the rest of my life"

"Dude your a teenager, chill out. I'm pretty sure you can date someone, and still figure out your life can't you?"

"I'm just not ready okay?" She nodded, and got up from the bed.

"When is the last time you hooked up with a girl?"

"Personal much?" She smiled, and shook her head.

"Think about it"

"Why does everyone want me to think about shit!"

"Because your stupid!" I grabbed the book, and chucked it at her head poking through the doorway.

"Get out!" I walked over, bending over to pick up the book.

I stopped, and stared down at the book. There was my father in a blue tuxedo, with his prom date.

Ralfie Davis & Christine Knight


	8. Issues

Issues

Spencer

Lunch was almost over, and there was no sign of Ash. Kyla said she looked pretty tired this morning, and she wasn't in her classes this morning. I told Ky and Aiden I was going to go look for her, to make sure she was okay. Of course they made those looks, I just rolled my eyes. I got to the music room, it was empty. As I started to walk to her locker, when I saw her in the library.

I walked in quietly, trying not to piss off the librarian. I slowly walked up, not to spook her. She was writing in her music book.

"Hey, you okay?" She looked up at me, she looked so tired.

"Yeah, I just had some homework that I had to do" I nodded, and took a seat next to her.

"You missed your morning classes today"

"I'm going to pay for that I know, but I didn't sleep last night and I just couldn't stay awake"

"Did you go out after you left my house?" It wasn't a secret, everyone knew that Ash slept around. She wasn't one for commitment.

"No, I just couldn't sleep" She started to pack her stuff away, I could tell something was going on.

"Ash, talk to me. Please?"

"Spence I'm fine, I was working on my music and lost track of time"

"Okay, well are you coming to class?"

"Yeah, I'll be there."She grabbed her bag, and walked over to the librarian. Something was going on with her, but I didn't want to push.

I got up from the table and went to my locker to get my stuff. I looked over, Ash was at hers. I watched as she put everything into hers, and rested her head against her locker. I wish I could help her, hug her, but I knew when she wanted space. Ashley puts distance between everyone and her, I think its to make sure she doesn't get hurt again. I close my locker, and head towards are class.

"Spencer?" I stop, turning around to my name being called.

"Yeah?" Brown eyes looking at me.

"I'm sorry about just now, I haven't slept and I didn't mean..."

"Its fine, I'm here if you need to talk okay?" She nodded.

We took are seats in class, and it wasn't long before her eyes were closed. I don't think music is what kept her awake, I think her life is. I grabbed a piece of paper writing down something, and then nudging her to take it. She shook her head. I asked if her parents would allow her to just go home for the day. I guessing she got in trouble for not telling them she was at my place last night.

"Okay class, get into pairs and discuss the following chapter" I rolled my eyes, she never really taught us anything.

"Ash, wake up. We have to discuss this chapter" She opened one eye, she was so cute sometimes.

"No" I smiled, and pushed my desk closer to hers.

"Sooner we talk about it, the sooner you get to sleep"

"She never asks anyways, besides you can answer for us" She smiled.

"Fine, only if you tell me whats on your mind" She looked at me for a moment, then grabbed a book out of her bag.

"This, turn to page 26" It was a yearbook, I turned to the page.

"So two people with bad taste in style have you not sleeping?" I gave her a questioning look.

"Read under the picture" I looked down, and read the names.

"This is your dad with your birth mother?" She nodded, grabbing the book back.

"Her last name in that book is Knight, but my dad said her name was Christine Davies"

"So they were married?"

"I guess so, I don't know when they got divorced. How can you divorce someone, when you don't know where they are. If he did, then why didn't he try to get her to stay" I could tell this was making her really upset, I reach over placing my hand on her leg.

"Ash, who gave you this book?"

"My mom"

"Why don't you ask her, she gave you this book for a reason right. Or ask your dad. These are the questions you should ask them, because they are just going to eat you alive. Beside weren't they broken up for awhile before she left, maybe that's when they agreed to divorce." She looked over at me, her eyes looked so sad.

"Maybe, I feel like I am in a soap opera. Like watch Christine be my mom's sister or something, or turns out Christine has another family and her children go to this school" I couldn't help but laugh, and she started to smile.

"You are just full of imagination Davies"

"You just wait Spencer, the show has just begun" I smiled, and turning back to hear the teacher call the first pair to talk about the chapter.

"Can't wait" I winked at her, and listen to my peers. I realized my hand was still on her leg, I took it off and placed it in my lap.

I wish I met her before all this happen to her, before she pushed everyone away. I felt my phone vibrate, I had a message from Carmen. I took Ashley advice and ask Carmen if we could talk after school.

**Meet by my car? **

**See you there. **

"Carlin, what did you and Davies get from the chapter?" I put my phone down, and looked up at the teacher.


	9. What I Need

**A/N:** **Hello, I am still here don't worry. I will not be walking away from this story. I have just been working midnights, and dealing with a cold. I live where the air hurts your face, yup you guessed it Canada. So getting over a cold when its always cold outside is hard, but I decided to at lease give you all something till I can be back to 100%. Keep Reviewing, and following Please. Stay Warm Everyone - Sushi1976**

* * *

What I Need

Spencer

I leaned against Carmen's car waiting for her to get out of school. I don't know why I was so nervous, but my hands looked stupid just by my side. I took out my phone, scrolling through Facebook. I noticed Clay updated his relationship, I'm going to have to ask who he is dating.

"Hey Spence, sorry I'm late." I put my phone back in my pocket.

"Its all good"

"So what did you want to talk about" she asked throwing her bags in her car.

"Its about the other night. Look I'm sorry Carmen, but I think we should be friends. I think I mislead you, and I am so sorry."

"Why did you ask me out on dates then, if you didn't like me?"

"I did, I just...when we were kissing there was no connection you know...no spark."

"I get it Spence"

"I did really enjoy my time with you, but I just don't feel anything more." I bit my lip, and noticed Ash was walking towards her car.

"You feel it with her?" I swung my head back towards Carmen.

"What?"

"Spence a blind person could see you got a thing for Davies. I just don't see why. Everyone knows she just fucks and chucks"

"How do you know, do you talk to her?"

"No, but everyone knows how she works. Look I'm fine okay Carlin, but don't go walking into a storm and expect not to get hurt"

"Got it, See you around?" She nodded, I turned and walked towards Ashley.

I knew about Ashley past, but I also knew her present was different now. She barely goes out, and when she does it's usually just to pick her sister up. I walked over, stopping by her side. She was talking on the phone with I assume was her parents. I took this time to look at her, she was stunning. I wish I could read her mind, to know if there was even a small chance she liked me back.

"Hey Spence, saw you with Carmen. Did you break the news?"

"Yup, she took it well"

"Good, so what are you up to now?"

"Probably going home to eat dinner, you?"

"My dad wants to spend some time with me, so we are going to karaoke night"

"Sounds fun, are you finally going to let the world hear you?" She laughed, and pulled out her keys.

"Probably not, besides I like knowing you are the only one I sing to" she winked.

"Such a charmer" I rolled my eyes.

"Need a ride?"

"I think I'm going to walk, but thanks" I smiled at her as I walked away, putting my headphone in my ears. Sometimes I think she is flirting with me, but I try to sum it up as a joke to stop the hurting. I felt my phone vibrate, it was a message from Ash.

_**I'll sing if you show xo **_

_** Original, no covers? **_I didn't want to hear a cover, I wanted to hear her true passion. I wanted to hear her heart, her soul, her voice.

_**For you...yes**_

_** I'll see you there :) **_

_** Its a date xo **_

_** ...with your father chaperoning? **_

_** My mom is coming now, they will be dancing too much to pay attention. **_

_** See you then **_


	10. Close

Song Used: Walk Me Home by P!nk

* * *

Close

Ashley

The music was alright tonight, and the crowd wasn't huge. I smiled as I watched my parents dance together. We arrived a few minutes ago, and my parents song came on soon as we got a booth. On the way here I wanted to ask about my dad being married to Christine, but I didn't think it was a good time to ask. Kyla was going to come out since my mom decided to come, but Aiden ask her to the movies. He was good to her, and for her. He always made sure she was safe, and never disrespected her.

"Hey Ash, can I get you anything?" Lindsey worked here as long as I could remember, I am pretty sure she use to babysit us.

"Just another coke please, and maybe some fries" She smiled, and picked up my empty glass.

"I see you're mom came out tonight"

"Yeah she had an early day at the office, so my father invited her to join us"

"Well they seem to be having a good time, will we be hearing you sing tonight?" Just then I noticed a certain blonde walk in.

"Maybe you will, you never know" She smiled, and looked where I was looking.

"When are you going to admit that you got it bad for her?" I got up from my seat.

"Lindsey don't you have a job to get to?" I said smiling, giving her a pat on the back as I took off towards Spencer.

She was dressed in a loose fitting sweater, with tight jeans. Her hair was down wrapped around her neck to the one side, her eyes were shinning bright blue from the lighting. I couldn't help the smiled that was on my face as I walked up to her.

"I didn't think you would show" I said, while giving her a hug.

"And miss the chance to get you to finally sing on a stage, no way" we both smiled, and I walked her over to our booth.

"You are still making me do that?"

"Yes, because you said you would" I nodded.

"Okay, I guess since you came I will" My parents came over, taking a seat on the opposite side of us.

"Hello Spencer, how are you doing?" my mom asked.

"I'm good, how are you. I saw you both enjoy your self out there on the dance floor"

"Yes I love dancing, but my husband feet might need a rub or too when we get home" We all laughed, she always stepped on his feet.

"Dad I know its karaoke, but do you think I could sing an original?" My father owed the place, but I still needed to ask.

"I guess, but you would have to open the night with it. That way people won't think its open mic night"

"Oh really, um maybe not then" I placed my straw on my lip, the thought of opening made me nervous.

"Oh come on Ash, we would love to see our daughter up there singing!"

"Ash you said if I came you would" I rolled my eyes.

"Ashley if you don't want to its okay"

"Thanks dad, but I did make that agreement with Spencer"

"Yes!" Spencer and my mom high fived, and I couldn't stop the butterflies from happening.

We sat there in the booth eating, and drinking until it was time for me to hit the stage. I knew what song I was going to sing, but I didn't know if I could do it justice. My parents asked Spencer all about her life, and about her future plans. She asked them about work, and what trip they will be taking this year for there anniversary. I felt like I was on a double date, the thought made me happy.

"Okay Ash, the stage is ready for you" I looked over at Spencer, she was all smiles. My parents left to get more drinks before I went up.

"I guess I will be back"

"Good luck, you will be great."

I started to walk up to the stage where Bryan was holding a guitar I requested. I thanked him and took my seat on the stool. I position the mic to my height, and looked out to the crowed. Everyone was now looking at me, I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe.

"Hello everyone, my name is Ashley and this song is called Walk me home" I heard my family cheer, I couldn't help but smile.

"There's something in the way you roll your eyes  
Takes me back to a better time  
When I saw everything is good  
But now you're the only thing that's good"

"Walk me home in the dead of night  
I can't be alone with all that's on my mind, mhm  
So say you'll stay with me tonight  
'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside"

I finally open my eyes to see everyone on there feet watching me, I could see my mom trying not to cry. I looked over and saw Spencer looking right at me, with a smile so big. I wink as that gave me the courage to finish the song with everything I had.

"There's something in the way I wanna cry  
That makes me think we'll make it out alive  
So come on and show me how we're good  
I think that we could do some good, mhm

Walk me home in the dead of night  
I can't be alone with all that's on my mind, mhm  
So say you'll stay with me tonight  
'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh  
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Walk me home in the dead of night  
'Cause I can't be alone with all that's on my mind  
Say you'll stay with me tonight  
'Cause there is so much wrong going on

Walk me home in the dead of night  
I can't be alone with all that's on my mind  
So say you'll stay with me tonight  
'Cause there is so much wrong  
There is so much wrong  
There is so much wrong going on outside"

The whole place clapped as I hit the last chord, and I couldn't help smiling. I finally was on a stage singing my own music, and it felt great. I looked over at my parents, and they were both full of smiles and tears. I took my bow, and gave the mic over to Bryan.

"Ash that was amazing honey, oh my gosh we are so proud of you" I gave both my parents hugs.

"Thank you both, it was actually fun being up there"

"Well maybe we will need to put on open mic night, so you can get more practice" my father said, wrapping me in another hug.

"I think I am good for now, but I think you should do that for others dad"

"I will get right on it, now I'm guessing you are going to spend the rest of your evening with Spencer?" I nodded.

"Okay, well we are going to head out. Please call if you are going to be late okay?" I nodded again, and gave my mom one more hug.

I walked with them stopping at the bar to order a water, and a coke for Spencer. Lindsey was as excited as my parents were to see me finally singing. I thank her, and walked over to where Spencer was. I took a seat next to her.

"Ash you were amazing, I am so happy I came"

"Thank you, and I am glad you came out too" she smiled, and took a sip of her drink.

"Your song was amazing as well, one day those songs are going to make you famous" I laughed.

"Slow down Spencer I don't want that life, I do it for fun not for money" She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Davies" I looked over and saw the next person get ready to go on. I noticed they were about to sing a slow song.

"Spencer, do you want to dance?"

"You dance?" I rolled my eyes, and pulled her up to the dance floor. I had heard this guy sing, he would make a good country singer.

I wrapped my arms around Spencer, allowing her arms rest on my shoulders. As the music played we swayed, and her head found its place in my neck. I ran my hands up and down her back, I couldn't help but pull her closer. I leaned my head down, and she brought her head up to look at me. Her eyes were a deep blue, and I couldn't look away.

"You're so beautiful" I ran my thumb over her cheek, and held her face in my palm.

"Thank you" She slowly brought her hand down to rest on my chest, as her eyes went from my lips to my eyes.

"Spence..I think.." I couldn't finish my sentence, her lips were on mine. I was finally kissing Spencer. I wrapped my arms back around her pulled her closer, as her hands went back to my neck pulling me deeper into her.

**They lived happily ever after...**

**...kidding, I'll be back with more. - Sushi1976**


	11. Pillow Talk

Pillow Talk

Ashley

Of course the moment I finally got to have a taste of Spencer, an interruption had to come. It came as a phone call from my sister. Aidens truck needed a boost, and I was the only one that decided to answer there phone. Spencer was nice enough to agree to come with me, that way I could give her a lift home after.

"Hurry up Aiden, its cold out here" Kyla spoke.

"Okay Ash, start the car" I nodded, turning on the engine.

Spencer was standing by the front of my car watching Aiden do his thing, I for one didn't want to deal with cables with it being so cold. I walked up beside her resting my hand on her back, she turned and leaned into me.

"I'm going to try the truck" He said going to his drivers door.

"Sorry about this, we should be done soon" I spoke into her ear.

"Its okay, I'm just cold"

"Go sit in the car, the heat should be on" She nodded, and gave my hand a squeeze before going into the car.

Aiden finally got his truck started, and we got the cables off the batteries. I helped him put them into the bed of the truck, while he turned up the heat for Kyla.

"Thanks again for this Ash, I guess I need to get a new battery"

"Its no biggie, just get my sister home safe. If it doesn't start in the morning just give me a ring okay?" He nodded, and gave me props.

I shut my hood, and saw Spencer looking at me through the window. She had my sweater on, the one I put in the back seat when we got into the car. I smiled, and walked around to the drivers side. After making sure Aiden took off safely, I climbed into my car.

"Sorry that I didn't ask, but I got cold" She said pointing to the sweater.

"Its okay, it looks good on you" I smiled, pulling out onto the road towards her house.

"It was nice of you to come help them, Kyla seemed really mad tho" I rolled my eyes.

"Aiden works really hard for the things he wants, and he has been putting off things like a new battery for a while. He has been saving up, but he finds himself spending that money on my sister. Kyla doesn't understand how hard he works, and that things like this come up" She nodded.

"I had fun tonight Ash, thanks for inviting me out"

"Your welcome, I'm sorry it ended so soon" I said, while pulling down her road.

"If it did continued, what would have happen?" suddenly I felt like that spot light was back on me, and all eyes were on me.

"I don't know honestly" I pulled up by her house, putting the car in park.

"Oh"

"Spence, I'm not going to just pretend the kiss didn't happen. I just don't know if it would have led to more kissing" I looked over, she was playing with the end of her sleeves.

"Did you want the kiss to happen?"

"Yes" She finally looked at me, it was dark so I turned on the light.

"Your not mad that I kissed you?"

"No, but I think we need to talk about it." She nodded.

"Why did you ask me out tonight, I mean it was a date right?"

"Only if you wanted it to be"

"Ash, please I need you to be honest with me. I know you don't do relationships, and today you weren't in the best mood. Then out of nowhere you ask me out, what is this?"

"I came out of the school and saw Carmen and you talking, my sister got in my head. Asking me if I would be okay if you two got together, and if I didn't act soon that is who I will have to watch you be with"

"Ash we are just friends, I took your advice and talked to her. So you did ask me out?"

"I like being around you Spence, you make me feel safe. I'm just worried, and I'm scared to take the next steps with you. You are my best friend, and I don't want to loose that" She nodded, and looked straight ahead.

"I'm scared to. Its too late to turn around tho, actions have been done. Words have been spoken, now what?" I looked over at her, and reached for her hand.

"I like you Spencer, and I don't want you with anyone. I don't want to watch you kiss someone that isn't me, or see them make you smile like I can. I never been in a committed relationship, I have fooled around. I promise that those days are gone, they have been over since the day you walked in my life." She smiled, leaning over resting hand in my face.

"I like you too Ash" Her lips came attached to mine, and my eyes melted shut.

**Is this it, are they finally spashley?...Will Ash ask her father more questions?...How will she celebrate her birthday...maybe meeting Christine?... Till next time xo - Sushi1976**


	12. White Rabbit

White Rabbit

Ashley

I know it sounded strange, but I swear the sun was brighter today. The dark clouds that have been following me have finally left. Spencer and I stayed in my car kissing until her father finally came out asking her to come inside. She wasn't in trouble, but it was getting past her curfew. We never did talk about what we are, all we did was kiss. I smiled remember the way she would pull me into her more, like she couldn't get enough. She was going to be the death of me.

"What did I say about thinking to hard, the smoke is starting to come out" I laughed, and turned to find blues eyes sparking at me.

"Can't help it, I got a blue eyed girl to think about" I winked, and she pulled on my belt loop to kiss her.

"Hi" She said while still holding on to my belt, and are foreheads still touching.

"Hey, how was your night?"

"My dad totally saw us kissing, and now of course he told my mom"

"Are you in trouble..." I would understand, since I was an addict and they help me get clean.

"No, but this morning they had a talk with me. They wanted to make sure I knew that I can't help you stay clean, you have to do it for you"

"They are right Spence, are you sure you are okay with this" I pointed between us.

"Its too late to back out now Ash, I can't go back to being your friend. I know what its like to kiss Ashley Davies, and I'm addicted" I rolled my eyes.

"So does this mean we are official?" I couldn't look her in the eye,

"I'm in if you are" I looked up smiling.

"I'm in" I leaned in kissing her gently, but with her pulling my belt loop I knew she wanted deeper.

I wrapped my arms around her pulling her into me, as her arms went around my neck. Kissing Spencer was a new high I never experience, and it tasted sweet. I could taste the syrup she had on her breakfast, and her vanilla gloss on her lips.

"I guess that is what everyone is talking about" We broke apart turning to see Aiden and my sister smiling at us.

"What?" I asked.

"We were just talking about what everyone was looking at and pointing, it was you two" We turned to look around, all eyes were on us.

"Okay then" Spencer spoke while letting go of me, and positioning her self beside me against my car.

"You two are the hottest people, and now you are both off limits. Both genders are going to be upset they didn't get there chance" I rolled my eyes, and went to grab my bag from my car.

"Whatever, I'm happy and maybe now I'll be know as Spencer's girlfriend rather then the druggie who overdosed" Spencer smiled when I called her my girlfriend, that rewarded me a kiss on the cheek.

"Come on Ash, lets just get to class."

"See ya guys"

We turned to head towards the school, and eyes were still on us. Spencer was walking beside me, but far enough not to be touching me. I couldn't take the distance, I needed to touch her. I reach over grabbing her hand, she looked down then gave me a smile.

"Spencer I've never done this before, so if I push you too far just let me know"

"Don't worry Ash, you are doing great so far" I smiled, and gave her hand a squeezed.

"But there are a few things you should know" we stopped at her locker, her locker was full of books and pictures of her family.

"Okay like?"

"I'm not jumping into bed with you right away, bathroom make outs are gross, and my parents want you to come over for dinner tomorrow" I laughed, and nodded.

"Got it Spence, and yes I can do dinner with your parents" She smiled.

"Also you look beautiful today" Smiled, and gave her a kiss.

"So do you babe" I winked, and started to walk us towards her first class making me late for mine. What can I say, I was whipped already.

**... Thoughts?**

**Till next time folks xo Sushi1976**


	13. Preach

Preach

Spencer

It wasn't long for the whole school to find out that Ash and I were dating. That still sounded weird when I said it. I never in a million years thought that Ash would finally be ready to date someone. I can tell she is a little unsure of how to go about things. When I finish my class I got a text apologizing that should might miss lunch with me due to getting called down to the guidance office. I just sent back a good luck, and I will see her in our classes later.

"Spence are you going to the game tomorrow night?" I finishing eating, and turned my attention to Kyla.

"No, my parents want Ash to come over for dinner."

"So you both can come after"

"She doesn't like going Ky, and besides I don't know how long this dinner night is going to go"

"You have the power to make her come Spencer, use it" I rolled my eyes at Aiden.

"I am not going to make her do something, just because I am dating her now"

"What are you making me do?" I smiled as Ash took a seat next to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Nothing"

"We said that you guys should come to the game tommorow, and Spencer said she won't make you do something you don't want to do" Ash smiled, and grabbed some of my grapes.

"If you want to go Spence, I'm pretty sure we will be done dinner before the game is over" I gave her a look, because I know she hates these games.

"Ash you hate going, why do you want to go?"

"You like them right?"

"Yes"

"So just because I don't, doesn't mean you shouldn't go."

"Will you come with me?"

"Sure" I looked over at Kyla who was looking at her sister with wide eyes.

"Okay then" I smiled at her, giving her a kiss.

Lunch went on with us talking about Ash getting into trouble for skipping class, and how her parents are provably going to ground her. Aiden and Ash talked about the assignment they both had to do, and Kyla talked about how she wants to get a part time job. As everyone talked, Ash had her hand in mine squeezing it once in a while. I leaned my head on her shoulder, as she gave me a kiss on the head.

"Ready to go?" I nodded, standing up with my tray.

"I got it" Ash took my tray to throw it out.

"You got her to actually settle?" I turned to find Carmen.

"Why do you care Carm?"

"She is going to burn you so bad, don't come crying to me" I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck off Carmen" Kyla spoke behind her.

"Whatever" Carmen laughed, and took off out of the cafe doors.

"What is her deal?" Kyla asked.

"Jealously probably"

"Eventually people will get over this whole Ash dating someone, just ignore it" I nodded, and looked over at Ash talking to some girls.

"She wouldn't you know"

"What?" I asked.

"Cheat, you mean everything to her. Without you she would die" I rolled my eyes again, as we walked out of the cafe.

"Always the dramatic one Ky" She stopped and pulled me to face her.

"I'm serious Spencer. Ash is different when she is with you, her whole world is about you. You made her more then just a junkie, you gave her a new start"

"We only started dating today Kyla, I can't change her in less then 24 hrs" I opened my locker, putting on Ash sweater she lent me.

"The time you spent with her over the summer up till now is what did it Spencer. She cares about school, she is going to therapy, and she even talks to us more. She stopped going out when she met you, and stopped getting into trouble"

"I also started to hang with her when she was getting treatment, that might be the reason why she changed to."

"Maybe, I do think that she is in love with you Spencer" I stopped and looked at Kyla.

"What?"

"I do, and I think you feel the same" She smiled, taking off down the hall. Ashley Davies in love, that was a new one.

"Hey baby, where did you go?"

"Sorry, Kyla was chatting my ear off" she nodded, and leaned against the locker.

"I saw Carmen talking to you, what did she have to say"

"Just that you are going to burn me, and not to come crying to her when it happens"

"of course, you know I wouldn't hurt you on purpose right?" I nodded, giving her a kiss. I couldn't help but go deeper. Ash lips could be addicting, and I just wanted more.

"Lets get to class beautiful" I nodded, slipping my hand into hers.

"So what did those girls want?"

"To fuck me" I stopped and looked at her, she was laughing.

"Its true, I said I was dating someone"

"So you would if we weren't?"

"Probably" I rolled my eyes.

"Spencer I was just being honest, but I am in a commitment relationship so I know those days are over" I didn't say anything, I just took my seat.

"I'm happy with you Spencer, and I'm happy I get to call you mine" I looked over at her as the teacher started to talk.

"Sweet talker" I spoke, starting to write down the notes on the board.

**Sorry for the long delay everyone. Next chapter is Ash meeting the parents, who got her clean...will they actually be okay with Spencer dating a addict? **


	14. I'm With You

I'm With You

Ashley

When I got home from school yesterday I was told I would be grounded for skipping class. I wasn't really shocked, but was worried they wouldn't let me go to Spencers tonight for dinner. I decided to just bite the bullet and ask my mom. She was of course in her own little world cooking when I got home from school. My father office was open, meaning he was inside.

"Hey mom, can I ask you something?" She looked up from her cooking book.

"Sure sweetie"

"I know I am grounded, but Spencer parents invited me over for dinner tonight. I didn't want to mention it yesterday since you both were mad, but I really would like to set a good impression with them. That meaning not miss a dinner they invited me to, because I skipped school" She looked at me over her glasses that were settled on the end of her nose.

"Why would you want to set a good impression?" I could see the smirk, and I knew once I answered she would be all lovey dovey mother.

"You know why mom"

"Because Spencer is you're best friend?" I rolled my eyes, and took a seat at the counter.

"No, because she is my girlfriend"

"Yes! I knew you two got a thing for each other!" I gave her a puzzled look.

"What?"

"Why are you so happy and did you just say thing"

"I'm just happy you finally decided to settle down, and stop sleeping around" she faked gag. She knew about my night life, and wasn't very happy about it. She even made me get tested a lot, just to keep me safe.

"Okay, well are you okay with me going then?"

"Yes, but only if you're father agrees"

"I guess thats fair" She smiled, and went back to her cooking book.

I walked over to my fathers office and knocked, he nodded and pointed at the chair. Of course he was on the phone, this could be hours before he would be done. I took the chance to look around, it was just filled with books, music, and photos of us.

"Sorry about that, whats up kiddo?"

"Can I go to Spencer's for dinner?. Long story short we are dating, her parents invited me and I don't want to disapoint them. Mom agreed if you do"

"Okay"

"Really?"

"Yeah, just be home at a decent time and call if you are going to be late" I nodded, and got up to leave.

"Ash one more thing"

"Whats up?"

"Have you thought about what we ask you?"

"Yeah kinda, but I do have a question"

"Okay, what is it?"

"If you were married, how did you divorce when you didn't know where she was...or did you"

"I didn't, but I had already drawn up the papers before she left. They were sign when I came home and found out she was leaving" I nodded.

"Anything eles?"

"Why did you break up?"

"differences"

"Okay then, well yeah I guess I would like to meet her."

"I'll set it up"

"How?" He took off his glasses and leaned back in his chair.

"I have friend who is a P.I, and owes me a favor"

"Why didn't you use him when she left me?"

"First she didn't just leave you, she left both of us. Also I didn't know Allan then"

"Both of us, dad you were already broken up. You had no part in her life anymore, so how could she of left you...you left her" I don't think he was too happy with that answer.

"Go have dinner Ash, behave" I nodded, and left his office.

Everytime we bring up the subject of Christine I find my father gets more angry. I wonder if he still loves her, and she is the one that broke his heart not mine.

"So?" my mom asked.

"He said yes"

"Well have fun, and tell Spencer we said hello"

"I will"

* * *

It wasn't long till I was at the Carlin's house, and walking upstairs to find my girlfriend. I stopped downstairs and chatted with Mr & Mrs C for a bit, then decided I should find Spencer. They both seemed okay with us together, but the night still isn't over. I slowly opened the door to find Spencer sitting on her bed reading, and music playing.

"Really coldplay...?"

"Jeeze you scared me, and what is wrong with coldplay?"

"just didn't think that was an artist you like"

"Well it is, and maybe you should learn more about you're girlfriend" she said putting the reading material on the bed side table.

"Okay, What is your favorite colour?" I walked over taking a seat on her bed, turning my body to face her.

"It use to be red, now its deep brown" I smiled, and intertwined are fingers.

"Favorite food?"

"My father roast beef, he makes it just perfect"

"Favorite memory?"

"To many to pick" I nodded.

"Ash can I ask you something?"

"Sure"

"Why didn't you ever try anything after that day we almost kissed in you're kitchen?"

"Honestly I didn't think I was good enough for you, and that you diserve someone who wasn't messed up like I was. I also thought you didn't want to be with someone who had a drug proablem, because of your brother"

"Oh" She sat up a little bit more, playing with the sleeves of her shirt.

"Spencer are you worried about that issue?" I needed to know, it was like this big bubble that we kept pushing away.

"Kinda, I think I always will be. I swore I never would associate myself with those people, I just don't understand how you can throw your whole life away for nothing"

"Its pretty easy when you don't want to feel emotions you don't want to. Its a easy way out"

"Why did you do it?" I stood up from the bed, feeling a little claustrophobic.

"I felt like a outcast in my own life, like I was pushed in where I fit. Christine left, and they just took me in like that had too. I know it sounds stupid, but thats how I felt and still feel some days. I felt abandon, and alone so fast after I found out. I couldn't take it, I just wanted it to stop." She looked at me with such sympothy.

"How are you handling it now, with the emotions and everything?"

"Good I guess, I have been preoccupied with us and school" She nodded again.

"I told my father I would meet her, I think I want to hear what she has to say"

"Thats a big step, are you afraid?"

"Wow I feel like I am in therapy Spence"

"I'm sorry Ash, I'll stop asking" I walked over taking a seat next to her, turning her head towards me.

"I'll always answer you're questions, I just get ask them when I am in therapy and I can never really answer them. With you its like you can just open me up so easily"

"Scared?"

"Yes, but I feel safe with you. I like that feeling" She smiled and leaned in giving me a soft kiss on the lips.

"Can I be honest with you Ash?"

"Of course"

"I"m scared that you will relapse, and I am going to get hurt" I ran my hand through her hair, and held her head in my hand.

"I promise to try not to let that happen okay?" She nodded, and leaned in again to kiss me.

"DINNER READY!" We both laughed.

"I swear they have powerful hearing" She said, grabbing my hand to stand up.

"Its okay, beside we can make out at the game"

"Or skip the game and just make out"

"That's my girl" I said, kissing her before heading downstairs.


	15. I'm So Tired

I'm So Tired

Spencer

Dinner went over really well, I think I was more nervous then Ashley. My parents didn't really ask her any hard questions, and when they did she had no problem answering them. She explain that she wasn't sure what she wanted to do after school, but she knows she wants to travel. I knew on some level it might have been weird for her, they did help get her sober.

After we finished dinner I volunteered to do the dishes, while Ash and my parents enjoyed the dessert that my dad made. I looked through the doorway and saw them all laughing, I noticed my baby album was out. I rolled my eyes and went back to washing the dishes.

"She seems to be doing well" My father said while putting the dirty dishes beside me on the counter.

"Yeah, she is"

"Spence are you sure you are okay with this?" I looked over at my dad, he had that concerning look on his face.

"Dad I know what you are getting at okay, just stop. Ash isn't Glen, I trust her" I pulled the plug out of the sink, and started to wipe the counters.

"What if she relapses?"

"Dad she is a teen okay, she messed up and made a wrong choice of coping skills"

"What if she does them again, I don't want you hurt over this situation again"

"This situation dad, this has nothing to do with what Glen did. Ash got high to deal with finding out her mother isn't her mother, that some women out there in the world gave birth to her and left her. Glen was an idiot, and selfish."

"Honey I just..." I raised my hand at him.

"Stop. This thing between Ash and I is happening. So either get on bored or shut up. You and mom have raised me to be caution, and trust my instincts. You raised me to never allow someone else issues effect my life or my future. If Ash relapses, then yes it will effect me and we will deal with it together. For now I want to finish school with my girlfriend, and focus on the future got it?" My father nodded.

"Good" I set down the cloth and walked out into the dinning room where my mother was showing pictures of my brothers to Ashley. I picked one up of Glen, I was still mad that he chose drugs over us.

"Spencer you said Clay was coming home soon?" I looked over at Ash.

"Yeah, he is going to be here on Monday. He can't wait to meet you" my mother said.

"I can't wait to meet him either" She smiled, and walked over resting her hand on my back.

"Did you still want to go to the game, we only missed the start of it"

"Yeah sure. Mom do you and dad want to come?"

"I think we are going to call it an early night honey, your mom and I have early meetings" my father spoke, as he came out of the kitchen.

"Okay" Ashley went and got her stuff from up stairs, while I got my shoes on.

I wasn't shocked that my parents didn't want to come to the game, they never did. My father loved football, now he barely watches TV because football ads are always on. I told mom he needs to do some counselling, but she said he is fine. He is the counsellor and he never did get help through Glens death. My mom still goes sometimes, I know because she calls it her spa days. When she comes home its looks like she came from a run, and it was raining. Her makeup will be smudge, and she will pig out on ice cream for the night.

"You okay over there?" Ash ask me while turning into the parking lot, I guess I zoned out.

"Yup, sorry just lost in thought I guess." I felt her hand come behind my next to massage it.

"Spencer you know you can talk to me right?"

"My dad was just on my case about you being sober and stuff. It must really suck having everyone always worried about that with you"

"I am getting pretty tired of it, but I get it. Your parents were there when I was at my worst, and now I'm having dinner with them because I am dating their daughter" I nodded, and leaned over giving her a kiss.

"I'm really happy I have you as mine Ash, and thank you for coming over tonight" She smiled, and kissed me again.

"I'll do anything for you Spence" I smiled.

"Well how about we ditch the game and just head to your place, I really just want to be with you"

"are you trying to get into my pants Carlin?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

"No, but how about a sleep over at your place?" Her smile became even bigger.

"What are you waiting for, make the call while I drive" I shook my head dialing my home number, while she gunned it out of the parking lot towards her house.

_**"**__**Hey mom would it be okay if I slept over at the Davies tonight?"**_

**Sorry everyone for the long delay, I had a really crazy week. Anyways how are you all liking it so far? Somethings are going to start happening soon, so hold onto your seats folks. - Sushi1976**


	16. Skin

**Skin**

**Ashley**

After convincing my mom that Spencer could spend the night, we headed up to my room. We agreed to leave the door open, and that the rules will be changed from now on. Apparently Aiden never sleeps in Kyla's room when he is over, and I know that's a lie. My mom didn't really know what to say when I asked if Spencer could spend the night, I never had a girl over before.

"I like your room, its you" I walked over setting down my bag.

"You haven't been in here before?" She shook her head no.

"Never had the opportunity to be brought back" I walked over pulling her into me, laying a gentle kiss on her lips.

"You are the first girl I have ever allowed in this room besides my family"

"I feel honoured" She smiled, wrapping her arms around me giving me her lips again.

"You should" I said lifting her up kissing her deeper, her legs wrapped around me.

I walked us over to the bed, laying her down gently. I felt her hands come down gripping at my back as we kissed deeper. When her tongue traced my lips I couldn't help but take it with a moan from my lips. Spencer tasted so sweet, it was becoming addictive. I ran my hand down and gripped the back of her leg and pushed deeper into her.

"oh fuck" She moan as my mouth work away from her lips down to her pulse point. I didn't know if I was allowed to leave a mark, but it was too late.

I felt a shiver shoot up me when her hands found there way under my shirt, and her nails were digging into my back. I couldn't help but move upwards making my leg rub against her centre. My tongue trace the hickey I left, then my lips were back on hers. I reach down grabbing her hand pinning it above her head as we slowly rocked back and forth.

"Fuck" Are kissing became sloppy, but we didn't care. We were exploring each other, are hands running up each others body. I felt her pull on my shirt to bring me closer, I quickly sat up taking it off. I looked down at her with just my bra on. She traced my stomach with her fingers, sitting up kissing between my breast.

"Beautiful" is all she said before my lips were back on her, and she was enjoying my tongue again. As I felt her hands on my bare skin I couldn't help but want more, I reach down and ran my hand up the inside of her shirt. She was on fire, and I wanted to feel more of her. I sat up grabbing her shirt, she complied taking it off and laying back down.

"Perfection" I leaned down laying soft kisses down her stomach, and back up to her breast. My hand ran up her side feeling the heat of her body. The room was quiet, therefore I could hear her breathe gasp as I kissed along her jawline to the top of her breasts. Her hands were on my back digging in to my back, and her body was rubbing against mine.

"Fuck Ash" I pulled back holding my self up while slowly grinding into her. I know we were to far gone to care about what we were doing. I leaned down kissing her again this time slowly as she start to push up to grind more into me.

"Hey do you guys...oh shit sorry!"

"Kyla! Do you ever fucking knock!" I looked down at noticed Spencer was looking embarrassed, I reached over and grab my sweater.

"Here, put this on" I said giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek. I got up from the bed, walking over to see what my sister wanted.

"Ash shirt?" I looked and just shrugged. Spencer was sitting on the bed with her knees to her chest. I opened the door to find my sister giving me an apologetic look.

"What would you like?"

"I'm sorry Ash you never have anyone over, and I assumed you were just listening to music" I couldn't blame her, she was right.

"Its fine, now what did you want?"

"I wanted to know if you wanted to watch a movie, but I can see that you are busy" She waved at Spencer.

"No thanks Kyla" I said about to close the door.

"I want to" I turned towards Spencer, who was now coming towards us at the door.

"Okay cool, lets go pick out a movie and Ash can make the popcorn" I didn't even get to reply before they were already down stars.

I turned around and looked in my bedroom. What just happen. I walked over to my closet grabbing a shirt, and going to the kitchen to make pop corn. When I got into the living room my parents were on the couch, Kyla and Spencer were on the love seat. That left me sitting in the big chair alone. I grabbed a blanket and got comfy. I looked over at Spencer and when she noticed she looked over at me then went back to looking at the movie. I fucked up, I knew it.

**Just a little tease for you all...Happy Easter Everyone! - Sushi1976**


	17. Strangers

**Strangers**

Spencer

After the movie Kyla wanted to talk to me about something. Ashley had already gone up to her room. She left soon as the credits started to roll across the screen. I know she is probably thinking she did something wrong. As I sat on Kyla's bed all I could think about is Ashley, and if she is mad at me.

"Spencer please say something" I looked up at Kyla, she looked worried.

"Sorry say that again?"

"I said I think I am pregnant"

"Oh, are you sure?"

"I took a test before the game, and it was positive. Aiden said I should make a doctors appointment"

"Kyla that is the best way to know for sure or not. If you want I can go with you" She wiped some tears away.

"Thanks, but I think I am just going to tell my mom and ask her to come. If I cam pregnant then she will have to know, same with my dad."

"Are you scared to tell them?" I would be, good thing I'm gay and Ashley can't knock me up.

"My mom doesn't worry me, but my dad is going to have Aidens head. Aiden said he would be there as long as my parents will allow him to be. He thinks my dad will tell him to leave and never come back" I rolled my eyes.

"I don't think you're dad will do that. He might yell, but thats it"

"Well don't say anything to my sistet okay, I'll tell her when we know for sure" I nodded, and gave her a hug.

"I won't. I'm here when you need me okay. I'm sorry if I have been preoccupied with Ash, I'm not trying to be a horrible friend"

"Its okay, I have been busy with Aiden"

"Ya you have been!" She shoved me, then started to laugh.

"Shut up, now go make up with my sister."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Spencer, you jumped at watching a movie, and you didn't even sit with her or look at her" I looked at the door, then down at my hands.

"I messed up Ky, and I really hope she will forgive me"

"You didn't cheat on her did you!" I slapped her arm, and got up from the bed.

"No Kyla! I would never do that to her!"

"Okay, I was just joking. Look what ever it is just talk to her okay, she will understand" I smiled, and looked at the door that was slowly opening.

"Hey I'm heading to bed, you coming?" Ash was looking at me, she looked so hot in her little shorts and tank.

"Yeah, be there in a second" she nodded, closing the door again.

"Goodnight Spencer"

"Night Kyla" I said before closing the door.

As I walked over to Ashley bedroom I could hear music playing. Ash said she uselly has music playing when she falls asleep. I open her door to find her already in bed, cuddled onto her side. When she saw me, she turned onto her back putting her arms behind her head. I slipped off her sweater she had given me, and took off my pants. Just leaving me in my bra and panties. I walked over to her, straddling her. My body shivered as her hands ran up my back.

"I know we went to far last time, I'm sorry Spencer. I should have stopped."

"It takes two to tango. I could have stopped as well. I'm sorry that I bolted out of here Ash. Its just if you're sister hadn't come in, I'm sure we would have gone through with it" She nodded, lifting up wrapping her arms around me.

"So you decided to come back in here with barely any clothes on to what...tease me more?" I knew she wasn't mad, she was kissing my neck.

"I'm comfortable with you Ash. Just because we shouldn't have sex, doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other" I let out a moan as she bit down on my neck.

"Is this your way of saying I can look, just can't touch?" she ran her nose up the side of my face, and her hands up my back.

"You can touch, just only from the waist up. You can look as much as you want" I took her lips in mine, wrapping my arms around her neck.

"Are you afraid I'm going to knock you up like Ky?" She giggled, and I pulled back looking at her.

"You know?" She nodded, laying me down beside her.

"Aiden called when you were with Kyla. He is freaking out more about my parents then having a baby"

"Kyla said she is going to tell you're mom, and ask her to come with her to the doctors"

" That's a good idea, tell are parents before they even know if they are pregnant or not" She rolled her eyes.

"What would you do then?"

"Make sure I was pregnant, before I anger the dragons" I laughed, and cuddled up into her.

"Good night Ash" She kissed me gently on the head, and held me tighter.

"Good night baby"

* * *

Sorry for not updating, things have been busy around here. How are you enjoying it? - Sushi 1976


	18. I Got The Girl

I Got The Girl

Ashley

The weekend had come and gone, and now it was Monday. Spencer and I spent the weekend hanging out around my house, and in town. We watched movies, talked, kissed, and just spend time learning about each other. Even though we were in high school, it felt like we were just two people living in the world together.

Kyla had to tell my parents about being pregnant, my father found the test in the garbage. My mother booked Kyla an appointment, and that is where they are now. My parents said they couldn't say anything until they knew what the truth was. I did however have a good laugh when my father walked in holding the test, and Aiden ran out of the room like a bullet.

"Ash we should get up" Spencer was laying on me as I layed on the couch. We just finish doing are homework, now we were waiting for my sister to come home from the doctors.

"Too comfy" I kept my eyes closed as I felt her hand run up my side under my shirt.

"If we don't get up now we are going to stay here till morning" she smiled, as she layed a kiss on my lips.

"Your so beautiful Spencer" I said as I moved some of her hair out of her face.

"So are you" I leaned up capturing her in a gentle kiss. Over the weekend we kissed a lot, but made sure are hands behaved them selves.

"My sister and mom should be home soon, then we can go see your brother" He had landed this morning while we were at school. Spencer had skipped the first half of school to go pick him up with her dad.

"He can't wait to meet you"

"Like wise" She smiled and kissed me again.

Being with Spencer was like a feeling I never felt before. It was like I was finally free, nothing could hurt me. There have been days where I have had a dark thought, but looking into those blue eyes just melts everything away. While sleeping she never let go of me, she said it made her feel safe knowing I was holding onto her at night. Of course my parents said that rules are going to change, and Spencer will be sleeping in Kyla's room from now on. Because Aiden will have to sleep in my room or on the couch. I didn't say anything, because I know I will have Spencer in my arms weather they like it or not.

"Okay Aiden, I love you too" We turned are heads over to see Kyla and my mother walking through the front door.

"So, what are the results?" I asked, as Spencer and I decided it would be best we sit up.

"I'm not pregnant" She said smiling.

"Oh man I was going to be an awesome aunt!" We all laughed, and Spencer cuddled into my side as my sister sat beside her.

"Shut up, Aiden refuses to even come over until he know dad won't kill him"

"Pussy"

"Ash, that's your best friend!" Spencer said.

"Yes, but he needs to man up. Besides dad won't beat him to bad" I said smirking.

"Anyways we are going to get a burger, I'm starving. Want to join?"Kyla asked getting up from the couch.

"No, we are going to go meet Clay"

"He is home, I wanna see him!" Spence smiled.

"I'll tell him to stop by the school tomorrow" she said to Kyla.

"Good, the man owes me a coffee still" Kyla spoke pointing at us, as she walked out of the room.

"Okay lets head to my house, I think my father is making a welcome home dinner for Clay" I smiled wide, I loved his cooking.

"Okay let me go tell my mom. I'll meet you in the car" I said giving her a kiss.

I walked into the kitchen to see my mother talking on the phone, probably with my dad. I know this isn't what they wanted to happen to their daughter, but if she was pregnant I know they would be there for them.

"Okay honey, I will see you when you get home. I love you" She smiled, and hung up the phone.

"Is he happy he isn't an old grandpa yet?" She laughed.

"I honestly think he sounded disappointed"

"Really?"

"Ya, he had a sad voice when I told him. Anyways, where you off to?"

"I am going to Spencer's, her brother is back for a visit and I want to meet him"

"Wow meeting the whole family are we?"

"Well yeah, that's what you do when you are dating someone right?"

"Yes. I just never thought you would be. I always thought you be a free spirit" I gave her a strange look.

"Free spirit?" I asked.

"Someone who never settles, who travels and just be in the moment you know?"

"I see, well that's not me. I am in a fully commitment relationship, and I am beyond happy" I couldn't help but smile when I spoke.

"Well I am happy for you. Its good to see more love in the world"

"With that I am going to go, I'll be home before curfew" I gave her a kiss, turning to leave.

"Oh and Ash what would you like to do this Friday?"

"Do I get an option?" She laughed, and nodded.

"Yes, because its your birthday"

"Oh ya I guess it is. Well I'm okay with just a family dinner, and I spend time with Spencer"

"Okay, I'll make your favourite." I smiled.

"Thanks mom." I turned to leave again, this time stopping to turn around.

"Has dad found Christine?" She looked up at me with a strange look, then shook her head.

"Yeah I don't know, maybe" I nodded, and smiled.

When I got outside I saw Spencer looking through my iPod for a song. I got into the car, leaning over kissing her cheek.

"Find anything good?"

"No"

"I take offence to that!" I have every time of music there is on my iPod. Music was like oxygen, I couldn't live without it.

"How about you just sing while we drive?"

"No, pick a song"

"Oh come on I miss hearing you. Besides knowing you, there is a brand new song in your head" I slid my glasses on, and turned out of the driveway.

"I do, but it needs a piano in order to sing it"

"Fine, but you are singing it in the music room with me tomorrow" she said pointing her finger at me.

"Sure, what ever you want baby" I smiled, slipping my hand into hers.

"Ash?"

"Ya Spence?" I looked over her her, she was biting her lip.

"I like you, I really like us...you know?" I smiled as I looked straight ahead, I picked up her hand giving it a kiss.

"Ditto baby"

**Thank you everyone for the feedback! I love it! Keep on reading, and keep reviewing. I love to hear you're thoughts. -Sushi1976**


	19. 90 Days

90 Days

Ashley

I ran my hand up her back, and felt her shiver under my touch. Her lips were attached to my neck. Her hands were in my hair, and her body was pressing up against mine. We had arrived at her house awhile ago, but no one was home. This led to us making out in her room. I reached for her hands to pin them against the door behind her, taking her lips in mine.

"Mm baby we gotta stop, there back" I licked my lips and nodded, leaning my head on hers.

"Is it possible to have shower before I meet Clay?" Spencer laughed, and rested her hands on my shoulders.

"I'm sorry if I keep teasing you Ash" She looked down, I lifted up her face kissing her gently.

"If it means I get to kiss you then I'll take what I can" She smiled, and shoved me away when there was a knock at her door.

I walked over taking a seat on her bed. I never really noticed how plan her room was. It had pictures of her family, some books, and that's it. No posters, and no mess.

"Hey sis, we got pizza!"

"I thought dad was cooking?"

"I asked if we could do Pizza, I haven't had it in forever" She smiled, and turned to me.

"Clay this is my girlfriend Ashley. Ash this is my brother Clay" I smiled, and gave him my hand to shake.

"Its nice to finally meet you Ashley, Spencer has told me alot about you"

"Not too much I hope"

"Oh I think she told me just enough" Spencer hit his shoulder, and he laughed preceding to go downstairs.

"I promise I only told him things I trust him with, which is a lot since he is my brother. I'm sorry if you didn't want me to." I hushed her with my lips, pulling her into me again.

"Its fine baby. I trust you" She smiled, and kissed me again.

"I trust you too baby"

When we got down stairs there was pizza, salads, and apps all over the dinner table. Arthur told us he said he would have made homemade pizza, but Clay wanted greasy cheesy pizza. We all sat down enjoying the meal, and listen to Clay talk about where he had been.

As I watch them all talk, and laugh I couldn't help but think about Glen. How he would fit in to all of this, where he would be if he hadn't died. I guess I zoned out because Spencer rubbed my leg to get me refocused. I looked over at her giving her a smile.

"Ashley what are your plans for after school?" I swollowed my food, and took a drink.

"I don't know yet. I know I want to travel" He nodded.

"Travelling is a great thing to do when you leave high school. The culture this world has would amaze you. The different foods will keep you on your feet alone" I could hear the passion behind his voice.

"Well I haven't made any choices yet" I felt like this was a conversation I should have with Spencer.

"Spencer your plans still the same?" we all looked over at her, she seems like she was hit with a massive spot light.

"Ya, I guess"

"Honey you said you wanted to stay and go to school here to save money?" Her mother asked.

"I did, I mean I do. I just haven't really made any solid plans yet"

"You will apply right?" I could feel how uncomfortable Spencer was just by sitting beside her.

"Yes mother, now can we talk about something else please?" I reached over putting my hand on her leg, trying to calm and relax her.

Dinner was over, and we found are selfs in the living room. Spencer's parents went outside to plant some flowers they had picked up while getting dinner. Clay was on the phone in the kitchen. Leaving Spencer and I in the living room. We weren't cuddling, or kissing. We were just sitting beside each other, she was in her own world. I took this time to turned her head towards me, her eyes looked lost.

"Talk to me Spence" She smiled, and layed her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get all sad and shit. I just don't like talking about my future when I don't even know what I am doing"

"I get it, but you have some kind of idea right?"

"I want to create something out of nothing. I want to work in the film industry, maybe create a movie one day"

"Wow that wasn't what I expected"

"My parents want me to follow them, and be a therapist, a councellor, someone who helps drug addicts, even a doctor. I just want to create something beautiful everyday in this dark world you know?" I nodded, kissing her head.

"When I am famous and have an album you can do all my videos" I smiled, wrapping her into my arms.

"So now you are going into the music business?" She looked up at me.

"No, that is a life I'm not ready for. I don't want my life ripped open for everyone to see" She nodded.

"Ash, if you want to travel, and with me staying here..."

"We will figure it out Spence, I'm not ready to just walk away without trying" She kissed me, pulling me closer.

"Cough , cough" We turned to see clay walking into the living room.

"Sorry" Spencer blushed.

"Its all good. I did how ever want to ask you for some advice on something" Clay spoke, taking a seat.

"What up bro?"

"I want to tell our parents about Chelsea" Spencer squealed, and it made me jump a little.

"You did it didn't you! You asked her!"

"Yes, I asked her to marry me. She said yes" Spencer hugged her brother, and I couldn't help but smile for how happy she was.

"Oh my gish I am so happy for you! Where are you going to get married?"

"First things first, I gotta tell the rents" Spencer nodded, and took a seat on my lap.

"Whats the big deal, won't they be happy?" I asked, sounding like the odd man out.

"our parents don't know that Clay has been seeing someone. Even know I told him he should have told them from the first date."She says while wraping her one arm around me.

"Why didn't you?"

"I travel alot, and I didn't think it was going to work. Then she got a contract for her paintings. She was allowed to paint where ever she wanted, as long as she paid to get them ship back to the gallery" I nodded.

"She is a painter?" He smiled when I asked.

"Chelsea can paint incredible things, and the way she mixes colours together is ..." Spencer held up her hand.

"She gets it bro, she is great. Anyways, I think you should just tell them. Explain everything, and I think they will understand."

"I agree with Spencer, I think they will understand Clay" He nodded, and smiled.

"So this is the same Ashley?" He asked, looking at Spencer.

"Yup, it sure is" She said running her fingers through my hair, kissing my head.

"I see. Don't take this to heart, but I hated you before I even met you" He said, looking right at me.

"Clay, stop. Mom and dad are in the back being all happy you're back, go tell them now"

"Sorry Ash, and fine. I get it you want to be alone."

Clay smiled, and walked down towards the back yard. I turned Spencer around so she was straddling me. I looked up into her eyes, they were a light blue. They reminded me of a summers day watching clouds.

"What did he mean Spence, did I do something to you?" She bit her lip.

"Its not what you did, its what I saw you do."

"Please tell me baby, no secrets remember?" She nodded, taking a seat beside me.

"I was over at your house hanging out with Kyla one night. We were doing a project together, and it was due the next day. We were just finishing up, and she had asked your father if I could stay the night. When he said yes, she went to shower so I could also. Then there was a knock on the door, and your dad asked me to answer it. When I open the door no one was there, but you. Someone had dropped you off and just left you lying on the ground. I called for your father, he came and picked you up. When we got you upstairs into bed, you opened yours eyes and said. 'I hate you for this'. Then you fell back to sleep"

"Why didn't you ever tell me this, or my sister?"

"I never told Kyla. You're father didn't either I don't think. Anyways, I guess seeing you made the nightmares come back for me. I started having them right after Glen passed, and when they came back I had told Clay about them. He hated that I had to go through that situation again, and that it made my nightmares come back. I never blamed you Ash, I blamed the memories that my own brother left" I nodded, I didn't really know what to say.

"Was he mad that you started dating me when you told him?"

"No, I think he knew I wouldn't be dating you unless I knew you weren't part of that life anymore"

"I'm sorry you had to see that Spencer."

"Its okay, its all in the past now."I smiled, and gave her a gentle kiss.

"Spencer did you hear the great news!" I pulled away slowly, and turning to see Mrs. Carlin smiling standing with a bottle of wine.

**I'm sorry again for making you all wait, but I love hearing all you're thoughts about the story. I'm sorry if It seems that I am dragging things out, but everything in the story has a meaning. **

**Coming up next...**

**Ashley goes the therapy...again. **


	20. End Game

End Game

Ashley

I found my self back in a chair across from my therapist again. We started out the session talking about my week, and about trust again. I explain that I do trust people, but as a human I am always going to second guess people.

"What will happen when you get hurt?" She asked me, waiting for my answer.

"From who?"

"Anyone, your parents?"

"Then I guess we work it out. I don't know honestly. I don't think my parents will intentionally hurt me"

"Sister?"

"I think it would hurt for her to doing something to hurt me. I think I trust her more then my parents, but can you blame me. Look at there track record" My parents are good parents, but they still kept something big from me.

"How will you deal with it?"

"Why?" She took off her glasses, and set down her paper.

"Ashley one day someone, or something is going to hurt you. How you cope with it, is why you are here. Your parents hurt you, and you coped with drugs. My question is about how you are going to cope with the same pain happens again, will you choose drugs again?" I bit my lip, and I my hands became interesting.

"I don't know. I think its the easiest, and expected thing of me to do right?"

"Explain"

"I'm 17 with a drug problem, my life hasn't even begun. I've already been labeled, so why not go with the expected thing"

"Because you don't have to Ashley. You can use your music, your family, myself to help you through difficult times. This is where you need to choose to not go down a road, just because all the arrows are pointing there" I nodded.

"I get it"

"You seemed happier today, why is that?"

"I can't be happy?"

"Yes, but this is a content happy"

"I am. Spencer makes me happy, complete, content."

"Spencer, the girl from your program?" She starts writing something down again.

"Her parents ran it, she just helped"

"I'm happy to see you happy, is it scary?" I thought about it, was I scared being this happy?

"I don't think so, why?"

"What if Spencer is the one to hurt you, what if she is the one to cause you the difficult pain we talked about?"

"Then I don't know. Spencer wouldn't hurt me, she isn't that person"

"What are your plans for after school?"

"I want to travel"

"And Spencer?"

"She is staying here, she wants to save money" She nodded.

"How is that going to work, between you two?"

"We haven't talked about it. We both know where this is going, but we don't talk about it. Why waste your time on the hurt when you can be living in the good times"

"That's pretty deep, and your right. I do think you should talk about it. For someone who is dealing with trust issues, you need to know the ending Ashley. You need to prepare your self" I looked at the clock, thank god this was over.

"Thanks Doc, see ya next week"

"Actually your parents called me, they said it was up to you to come see me. All you have to do is call and book an appointment"

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then you don't. You got a good head on your shoulders, I think you will make a good choice. If you need me, or just someone to talk to I am here" I smile, and shake her hand.

"Thanks"

I took some deep breaths when I got outside of the building. I wanted therapy to be over for a while, I hated talking about so much deep stuff. I hated how it would stick in my head hours after, and keep me up. I got into my car, and texted Spencer back saying I was done. I also had a missed call from my father.

"_Hey Ash, you all done?"_

"Ya dad, um thanks for letting me decide"

_"Just make sure you go when you need to okay?"_

"I will, so did you call for a reason?"

"_Your mom told me you asked about me finding Christine, and well I wanted to let you know I did. I have her address here on my desk, when you are ready we can go talk to her"_ I didn't say anything, I just let it sink it. Was I ready for this, to meet her, to see my self looking back at me.

"_Ash?_"

"Sorry"

"_You okay kiddo?_" I nodded, even if he didn't see it.

"_There is no rush okay, when ever you are ready_"

"Thanks dad."

"_I love you Ash, don't forget that_" Why did I have tears building up in my eyes?

"I love you too Dad" I wiped the tear the dripped down my cheek, pressing the end button.

I breathe in a deep breathe, and released it. I don't know why I was getting emotional over this. I went into my messages and saw a message from Spencer.

_ **Parents are gone. Want to have some Spashley time?**_

* * *

**Hey everyone! I am so sorry! I honestly thought I had updated, that's what I get for being on nights and not knowing what day it is lol . If you Haven't ****already please like and follow this story, that way when I do update you will get notified. xo Sushi1976**


	21. The Search

The Search

_Song Used: Tell Me You Love Me by Demi Lovato_

Ashley

When we got to school today we were met with fire trucks, police, and ambulances. The students gathered in the parking lot, where the principal told us that school will be cancelled today. We decided to head to the beach, and enjoy the warm weather. My father had called soon after and told us that Mr. Watson was doing an experiment in the lab, it didn't end well. He is in the hospital with 3rd degree burns.

"Baby can you put sun block on my back?" I smiled, and rubbed some on her back.

I admit sometimes it was hard not holding back with Spencer. When she text me saying her parents weren't home I thought we were going to go all the way. Instead I left pretty sure I had two blue balls hanging between my legs. I know I said I was okay with everything, but I think today some cold water will help when it comes to being with her so close.

"Wanna go for a swim?"

"Sure" We got up from are towels, making sure not to kick sand on my sister who was suntanning.

The water was not freezing cold, but it wasn't warm either. As we held hands together we walked into the water. My hand got squeezed every time a wave came at us, and I couldn't help but laugh at Spencer.

"Stop laughing at me, its cold!" I smiled, wrapping my arms around her.

"I'm sorry"

"For?" I smiled, then pushing us both into the water. The water was cold, but refreshing.

As I came up for air, I got a splash of water in my face. I laughed splashing her back.

"Come here baby" I pulled her into me, allowing her legs be wrapped around me.

"You Ashley Davies are mean" I pouted, and she kissed me.

"Sorry, but I didn't think you would ever get in the water"

"It is nice now that I'm in"

"It really is" I smiled, leaning in for another kiss.

We stayed in the water for awhile, until we notice it was about to rain. When we got out of the water Kyla was fast asleep. I took this chance to be a good sister, and wake her up with water. I had to borrow a pail from some kid on the beach, but seeing my sister screech and jump was worth it. Aiden was done work, so he came to pick up Kyla.

"I'll see you at home Ash, tell mom and dad please"

"I will" As I opened the door for Spencer.

"Here comes the rain" Spencer said as the rain started to come down, I ran around the car and got in.

"That came down quick"

"Yeah, lets get home before it gets too bad"

"Want to watch a movie, and maybe order pizza?"

"Sounds perfect to me. Mine or yours?"

"Yours, my parents are having some friends over tonight." She said.

"Okay, when is your brother heading back. I don't want to miss saying goodbye"

"Not till Monday. Don't worry he will say bye before he leaves"

We started to drive back to my house, my parents were away for the night. They promise to be back tomorrow for my birthday. I said there was no rush, I will have more birthdays.

"Ash, what are you doing for your birthday?"

"Probably just spending the night with you and my parents. Might go to the bar, have dinner"

"That's it, Ash you are turning 18!" I laughed.

"Yes I'm aware of that Spence."

"You should have a huge celebration for that milestone"

"Maybe I'll get extra garlic bread?" She laughed, and reached for my hand.

"What ever makes you happy Ash"

"You make me happy" I looked over at her as I parked my car.

"You make me happy to Ash" I leaned over giving her a kiss, I reached up placing my hand on her cheek.

"I'm so lucky to have you" She smiled, and kissed me again.

"Want to head inside?" She nodded.

We got out of the car, and ran straight to the front door. When I pulled out my keys, I realized I gave my house keys to Kyla. She had left hers in her locker yesterday, and was suppose to grab them today.

"Shit Kyla has my keys"

"Lets give her a car, but lets do it in the car." I nodded, running back to the car so we weren't standing in the rain.

"Fuck its off." I hit end, and looked over at Spencer. She was looking very hot with the way her wet hair was sprawled out over her shoulders.

"Now what?" I thought for a second, then smiled.

"Wanna go to the beach?" She gave me a weird look.

"Didn't we just come back from there?"

"You will see" I pulled out of driveway, and towards the beach.

My parents had money, but we never showed it. My parents believed that we should only have what we needed. If we wanted more, then we would have to work for it. My parents owned a little beach house. We would go there for long weekends, or let family stay there when they came to visit. I was hoping my parents still kept the key in the BBQ, in the back.

"Where are we?"

"My family's beach house" She nodded.

"I'll be right back, I gotta get the key" I hopped out of the car, running into the back yard. I looked around for the BBQ, it was really hard with the rain coming down so hard. When I found it, I rushed back to the front door. I waved to Spencer, and held the door open for her.

"So Cold" Spencer spoke shivering.

"Come here, I'll light the fire" I walked over lighting up the fire, and wrapping a blanket around her.

"Thanks, this place is beautiful" She said walking around looking at the place, and smiling at all the pictures of my family and I.

"It is, we never come here as much as we did."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I guess going to the beach is outdated now" She nodded, and sat down on the couch.

"You know Ash, you never told me what you wanted for your birthday" I grabbed the hot chocolates I made while she walking around, and handed her one.

"I don't want anything. I have everything I want already" I smiled, and ran my fingers through her hair.

"Stop being a cheese ball, and answer the question"

"There is one thing that I miss, but no one does it anymore"

"Please do tell"

"A homemade card, and a homemade cake" She smiled, her smiled is so beautiful.

"That's what you miss, why?"

"The effort. Buying something is simple. Making something is personal. I like knowing someone made me something, and put thought into it"

"I will stop by art class tomorrow, and put my finger panting to use then" she said smiling.

Bang!

"What was that?" Spencer said looking towards the window. I walked over and saw a tree bench that fell onto the back patio.

"Looks like the rain is now a storm. You might want to give you're parents a call. I don't think we will be heading out of here anytime soon"

"Are we going to be okay here? Will your parents get upset?" She said pulling out her phone.

"Nah, they aren't even in town."

While Spencer was on the phone, I walked over to the piano. I remember my father playing while we watch the fire burn. My mom would make us snacks before bed, and we would listen to my father. He was the one that taught me how to play, and how to read music.

"I miss this" Spencer leaned against the door frame.

"Watching me?"

"Yes, and hearing you play. Will you play something?"

"What would you like to hear?"

"Something you wrote" I nodded, and as I looked at her I knew what song I wanted to play for her.

_ "Oh no, here we go again  
Fighting over what I said  
I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry  
Bad at love, no, I'm not good at this  
But I can't say I'm innocent  
Not hardly, but I'm sorry"_

I looked up to see her fully looking at me, her eyes looking directly at me. I didn't know if I was ready to sing the rest, but I knew its how I felt.

"_And all my friends, they know and it's true  
I don't know who I am without you  
I got it bad, baby  
Got it bad_"

"_Oh, tell me you love me  
I need someone on days like this, I do  
On days like this  
Oh, tell me you love me  
I need someone  
On days like this, I do  
On days like this  
Oh, can you hear my heart say  
No, you ain't nobody 'til you got somebody  
You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody"_

I looked at her with every word sung, I wrote this song when I realized how I felt about her. How everyday I looked forward to seeing her, being with her, and just talking to her. I felt like I could be myself with her, and she didn't judge me for my past mistakes.

"_And I hope I never see the day  
That you move on and be happy without me  
Without me  
What's my hand without your heart to hold?  
I don't know what I'm living for  
If I'm living without you_

_All my friends, they know and it's true  
I don't know who I am without you  
I've got it bad, baby  
I got it bad_

_Oh, tell me you love me  
I need someone on days like this, I do  
On days like this  
Oh, tell me you love me  
I need someone  
On days like this, I do  
On days like this  
Oh, can you hear my heart say  
You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody  
You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody  
My heart's like  
No, you ain't nobody 'til you got somebody  
You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody_

_Everything I need  
Is standing in front of me  
I know that we will be alright, alright, yeah  
Through the ups and downs  
Baby, I'ma stick around  
I promise we will be alright, alright_

_Oh, tell me you love me  
I need someone on days like this, I do  
On days like this  
Oh, tell me you love me  
I need someone  
On days like this, I do  
On days like this  
Oh, can you hear my heart say  
You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody  
You ain't nobody 'til you got somebody_

_Everything I need  
Is standing right in front of me  
I know that we will be alright, alright, yeah"_

I wanted to look up, but I was afraid to look at her. I bit my lip, and looked up at her. She was standing there with tears in her eyes. I quickly got up and went to her side.

"Spencer are you okay?" She nodded, and wiped her eyes.

"That was...wow" I nodded.

"Ash?"

"Yes?" I looked at her, she still had tears in her eyes.

"I love you too"

* * *

**Awwwwww... Gotta love those first time "I love you's". Next up... Birthday Partaaaay**


	22. Oh Lord

Oh Lord

**_R-Rated_**

Ashley

The storm was not over yet. Both of are parents told us to stay where we are, and stay safe. My dad told me where to find everything I needed just in case the power went out. My parents always made sure there was some kind of food in this house. I had found pizza, pop, and some random snacks. It was almost dark now, and you could still see the lighting over the water. I suggested that we shower to get out of are damp clothes, and I would try to find something for us to wear.

As I entered my bedroom of the house I remember when I was last here. It was to get away from everyone with Danni. I walked over picking up a wooden box with my initials on it. When I opened it up, I was faced with my past. It was just some weed, but it still made me take a sharp intake.

"Whats that?" I turned towards Spencer who was standing in the doorway in just a towel. I rank my eyes up her tan wet legs, up to her eyes that were burning into mine.

"Just some stuff junk" She walked over to where I was, taking a peak inside the box.

"Is it hard, to be around it?"

"Not really, its just weed. I smoke, snorted, and swallow worst in this room" She nodded, grabbing the box and setting it down.

"Did you come here a lot?"

"Danni boyfriend was a ass hole most days, and her parents weren't any better. We needed a place to be..."

"Alone" She spoke looking at the bed with the tossed lingerie on the bed.

"Yeah"

I didn't know if she was upset knowing Danni and I had more then a drug friendship, or if she just felt sad for me.

"I remember those nights of getting high, feeling the drugs working through my body. That's all it was tho, a hot drug in dosed sexual need. We never talked about it, the next morning she would be gone and I would wake up trying to figure out where I was." I spoke, my voice cracking.

"Have you ever had sex without being high?" She asked, taking a seat on the bed.

"My first time yes. Other times no." She nodded, taking a seat next to me.

"Spencer are you afraid of taking that step because you think I will hate it?" She wouldn't look at me, her eyes were on her hands in her lap.

"Please Spence, talk to me." I moved her face towards me, moving some of her bangs away from her eyes.

"Both of my times didn't go the way I wish they would have. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the women I was with more then the guy a lot more, but I just thought it would feel ...more. It was like something was missing, and I'm scared you won't enjoy it because I'm not as experienced at it as you are" I leaned down and captured her lips in mine, tasting her on my tongue.

"Feel this?" I held her hand to my chest, my heart was pounding.

"Yeah"

"Every time I kiss you Spencer, I feel like I can't breathe afterwards. Its like every time my lips touch yours, you take every bit of oxygen I have in me. Then when I pull away, I want to go back for more. Its a high for me Spencer, and I'm addicted to it. I'm scared that once we do take that step, I won't be able to live without you. So please don't think you won't be good enough, or that your inexperience baby. Your kisses already make me feel high, and sex is just going to take me over the edge."

"I love you Ash" She leaned over taking my lips in hers.

The kiss got deeper, are breathing got heavier. As are tongues dance; hands exploring, Spencer made her way onto my lap. With her hands in my hair, and my hands wrapped around her pulling her closer as I could. I slowly layed her down, hovering over her. We stayed that way for a while, just looking at each other.

"I Love you Spencer" I kissed her gently, reaching down running my hand up the back of her naked leg.

"Ash" she moaned, as my teeth marked her neck and my body moved into hers more.

Making sure it was okay, I reached between us slowly removing her towel that was wrapped around her. I inhaled as I saw her naked for the first time, she was the object of perfection. I moan as I ran my nose up between her breasts.

"Your perfect Spencer, so perfect" I closed my eyes as I wrapped my mouth around her nipples, and felt Spencer take a sharp breathe.

"Fuck Ash" Her hands went down my back, bringing my shirt over my head.

As I sat up taking my bra off, and looking down at the perfection in front of me. I couldn't help think that this was a high that was going to finally kill me. Spencer Carlin was going to be the death of me.


	23. Circle Game

Circle Game

Ashley

I blinked, and raised my hand to shield the sun coming in through the blinds. I turned my head to see Spencer sleeping peacefully next to me. I reached up running the back of my fingers over her cheek, I was still in awe that she was here with me. I leaned over kissing her head, before getting up out of bed. I grabbed my house coat from the door, and went to make coffee. I also had a missed call from my mom. The sun was just coming up, so I knew we had a bit till we had to get to school.

"Hello?" I answered my phone, while pouring water in the coffee maker.

_"Hey my sweet birthday girl, happy birthday"_

"Thanks mom"

_"Hope you were safe last night, the storm got bad"_

"We were mom. The power went out, but we were already in bed."

_"Okay, well we will be getting home around noon. Then when you are done school, we will go out and celebrate you being born"_ I smiled.

"Okay mom, drive safe."

_"We will. Make sure you get Spencer to school okay, I don't want her to get into trouble with her parents"_

"I will, I promise."

_"I love you honey"_

"I love you too mom" I hung up the phone, and grabbed two cups from the cupboard.

Last night was a night I would never forget. The way Spencer looked under the moon light naked could make me cum just by thought. The way her nails went into my back as I pushed deeper into her. I was surprised by her flipping us over, and making me quiver under her. She kissed every part of my body, making tingles run through it. I have experience sex before, but making love was a new high I wasn't ready to stop.

"Morning" I almost dropped the cup I was holding, as I felt a hand on my back.

"Hey baby, I was just making coffee" I ran my eyes over her long tan legs, and my shirt that was just covering her waist.

"It smells so good, is that why you were moaning?" I bit my lip, fuck I guess I was getting worked up from thinking about her.

"Sure lets go with that" I smiled, as I poured each of us coffee and walked us over to the couch.

"Happy birthday baby" She leaned over giving me a kiss.

"Thanks. I didn't want to get up today. I wanted to stay in that bed with you all day"

"Me too, I was surprised you are even up. Its still early" As she looked out the window at the sunrise.

"I had a missed call from my mom, or I would have gladly stayed in that bed with you" She smiled, leaning into my side.

"I wish, but we got school. If I miss a day my parents will have my head"

"I know. That's why we will finish this coffee, have a shower, and I will take us to school. Where you will stay, and I will go home and wait for you to be done" I smirked, as she looked at my shocked.

"No, if I'm going to school so are you birthday girl. Besides maybe if you are lucky we can fool around a little a bit on lunch?"

"I love the way you think baby"

"and I love you" I smile, lifting her chin up to kiss her.

"I love you too"

We sat on the couch for a bit longer before we decided to get into the shower. It would have been quicker, but my hands got needy and we ended up having quicky. After we finally finished, we got are stuff together and headed of to school. As I drove I couldn't help, but reach over and hold her hand. Something in me wanted to always be touching her now, and I knew it was the same for her. I kissed the back of her hand, and rested it on my lap.

"Are you sure your parents won't mind me tagging along tonight Ash"

"No babe, they will be happy to have you. Besides its my birthday, and I want you there" She nodded.

"How does it feel to be 18?"

"It feels like I need to be more mature, but all that is coming out is my inner child." as I stuck out my tongue.

"Don't worry I think you are still sexy"

"Oh ya? Would you like me to pull over and show you how sexy I can be?" She laughed, and shook her head.

"Just drive Ash. You are going to be such a horn dog aren't you?"

"What can I say Spence, I'm in love and I just found the pot of gold" I winked at her.

As we pulled into the school parking lot my phone went off. I reached down to see who was calling me. I knew the number by heart. It was the same number I use to call everyday, sometimes more then once. I silenced it, and put it into my pocket.

"Who was it?" Spencer asked walking over to my side.

"Just telemarketers I think. If its important they will leave a message." She nodded, walking over towards my sister.

I reach into my pocket pulling out my phone. I had a new text from the number.

** We need to talk. Don't make me come to you. - Danni**


	24. Invincible

Invincible

Ashley

The music was pounding through the speakers, sweat was starting to appear over are bodies. The lights were flashing, hitting us once in a while making us close are eyes. Spencer's arms were wrapped around me, and she practically riding my leg. Her neck was kissed, sucked, and bitten a couple of times. Maybe it was the music, my birthday, or the fact I had one hot sexy girlfriend, but I was hyper and horny.

School went by as slow, I kept thinking about last night. When Spencer did her presentation in class, all I could was bite make moans. Her tan legs were begging for me to grab hold, and taker her right on are teachers desk. I kept biting my lip when she would smile at me, then lick her lips. By the time she was done, I'm pretty sure my underwear were soaked. She was nice enough to give me a little quickie at lunch, enough to get me through the day.

When we got to my dads bar and grill, the music was already going. He hired a band that I had liked, but they went on tour. Everyone came for dinner, and I opened everyone's gifts. Spencer of course made me a card, and got me journal that I could use for my music. After dinner my parents left, and the rest of us hit up the dance floor. My fathers place has never been this packed before, but this band had made there name known.

"Baby lets get some air" I nodded at Spencer, leaning over to tell Kyla and Aiden.

I grabbed her hand, leading us out side in the back. I knew this was fenced in, so no one would be back here since the band was still playing. I turned around, pulling her into me. It was long till are tongues were dancing again, and she was pushed up against the wall.

"Fuck Ash" I placed my forehead on hers, and took a moment to just look at her.

"You are so beautiful Spencer" she smiled.

"So are you" She pulled me into her kissing me, I reached down grabbing the back of her thigh. As I pushed into her I felt the vibration of her moans go through me, and made me want her more. I let go of her lips, and started to lay kisses on her neck.

"Of fuck baby, you are making this hard"

"What do you mean" I said smirking, sucking on her pulse point.

"I'm getting so worked up, and I never...fuck" I just ran my fingers over her underwear covering her centre. She was only wearing a summer dress, and I knew it wouldn't be long till she was begging me to go down under it.

"Come again?" I pulled back looking into her yes, as my fingers were playing with the waist band on her underwear. I watched her eyes roll back, as my fingers found her warm wet lips.

"Tell me to stop and I will" My full attention was on her, and making sure this was okay. I slowly slid my finger up to her clit, and I stopped. I needed to know if I could continue.

"Spencer, tell me" I was begging her at this point, my finger was shaking from waiting.

"Fuck me" I watched her eyes open, and glaze over. I layed my lips on hers, as my fingers worked on her.

It wasn't long till her nails were digging into me as my fingers went deeper into her. I know she wasn't the one for public sex, but the fact we might get caught was making this more hotter.

"Oh fuck yes, don't stop" Her forehead was now on my shoulder as I added another finger, I gave her another quick kiss before I dropped to where my tongue could taste what my fingers were doing to her.

Spencer tasted so sweet, like she was made out of pineapples. I ran my tongue down her slit, and up hitting her clit.

"Ugh, fuck I'm cc-close. Please ash, baby" I looked up, her head was resting on the wall as her hand was in my hair.

"Come for me baby, show me what I do to you" I got back up kissing her her sweet lips, as my fingers twisted up hitting her in the right spot. Her eyes were dark, her body shook, but all the sound she could make out was quietness.

"Yes Yes Yes" Her body shook, and then she was limp in my arms. Her breathing slowing down, but still fast.

I walked us over to a chair near by, letting her sit in my lap curling into me. I ran my fingers through her hair, kissing her head once in a while. We sat there for a while, just looking up at the stars.

"We should head back in, your sister and Aiden are probably looking for us"

"Yeah I guess so, Spence are you okay with what happen. With last night and today?" She looked at me nodding.

"I know I said I wanted to take it slow and stuff, but I do feel comfortable with you Ash. I'm okay with how this is going, I love you baby" I smiled, I still wasn't use to her telling me that.

"I love you too" or me saying it.

**A/N: Hey everyone, I am on vacation for a week. I will try to update this weekend a couple of times, but no promises. I hope you are still enjoying this story. xo Sushi1976**


	25. Candlelight

Candlelight

Spencer

Ashley and I were in her room doing are own things. I was working on a essay, while she was writing a new song. Things between us were good, I would admit that scared me a bit. They always say there is calm before the storm. Her birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and the subject of Christine was not mention. I know her father has her contact info, I think Ash needed more time to get the courage to face the women who left her. We have spent more night together under sheets, and even in her car once or twice. Something about her makes all my fears go out the window, specially when she looks deep at me with those brown orbs. She does still respect my rule about making out in washrooms, she just takes me to the music room, or her car. I have to admit she isn't the only one who is hormonal all the time, I am just as bad.

My father went back to Chelsea, and my parents are back to there regular jobs. Leaving my house pretty empty most nights. I find my self having dinner over at Davies residents, then my own. I know her parents are loving having her home for meals, and seeing her happy. Kyla and Aiden have joined in on are weekly dinners as well. Of course when it comes to the weekend sleepovers, Aiden is in Ashley's room, and I am with Kyla. That never last long tho, Ashley comes in to cuddle me and leaves before sunrise.

I had lost my consideration when I felt something vibrate on my leg, it was Ashley phone. I looked up and notices Ashley not paying attention. She was in her music zone, she had tuned everything out. Even me at this point. I could walk around naked, and she wouldn't blink a eye. I reached down picking up the phone, it was the same number that had called before. Every time they call Ashley just says its telemarketers. I want to give her the reason of doubt, but I'm still hurt she can't tell me the truth about the number.

"Dinner girls!" I put my stuff off to the side by my bag, getting off the bed. As I walked over to my girlfriend, I noticed her journal. She was writing a new song, but was scratching a lot of stuff out. She was having a hard time focusing apparently.

"Ash?" I put my hand on her shoulder, and lifted up her chin.

"Yeah?"

"Dinner" She smiled, setting her journal down.

"Good, I'm starving" I smiled, walking over to grab her phone. I walked over handing it to her, she noticed there was a missed call.

"They called again, still telemarketers?" She played with her phone, then placed it on the bed again.

"Yup, I think I am going to change my number. This is getting ridiculous" She pulled me into her giving me a soft kiss.

"I love you Ash"

"I love you too Spence, now lets go before Aiden eats all the food" I laughed, but I know he could if he would.

Dinner was tacos tonight. Kyla decided she wanted to try being a vegetarian, so she decided on a fresh salad tonight. Her parents told her they would support her on her choice, but they know how much she loved steak, burgers, and her moms meatloaf. Every night I am here we always talk about what is new in are lives, and what band Ashley father is hiring next. He likes to give Ashley the demos to see what she thinks.

"Oh Ashley I got a call today for you" She looked over at me, then at her dad.

"Who was it, and why would they call you?" I wanted to say something about the telemarketers, but I know being a smart ass wasn't the time or place.

"It was some girl, damn what was her name. I think I wrote it down hold on." She took one more bite, and went into his office.

"Aiden do you have a game this Friday?"

"Not this Friday, we have a way game this sat." Kyla looked at Aiden, then at her mom. I know wanted to go with him, but wasn't sure her parents would allow her.

"Well drive safe, and I hope you win" He smiled.

"Thank you, um I was wondering if you and Mr. Davies would be okay if Kyla could join me?"

"Please mom, its just for one night. Some parents will be going to supervise, and I will be sharing a room with another girl not Aiden" Ashley and I knew that was a lie, since Aiden had paid for his own hotel room. We were there when he called different hotels asking for the lowest price.

"Let me talk to your father first, and we will let you know" That had seem to satisfy them.

"Found it, I knew I wrote it down somewhere" He had a slip of paper in his hand, he handed it to Ashley. I looked over and saw a name, a name I knew I didn't like.

"Thanks dad. I'll call her back"

After that we all just finished dinner, keeping the conversation light. Usually Ashley would be more talkative, but tonight she was quiet. I think it had to do with Danni calling her dad. After dinner was over, it was are turn to do the dishes. Ashley would wash, while I dried, and put the dishes away. We didn't really say much to each other, I didn't know how to bring up what I wanted to talk about.

"Ash?"

"Yeah?" I leaned against the counter, playing with the towel.

"Why is Danni trying to get a hold of you?" She stopped washing, putting her hands on the counter. Like she was bracing her self to tell me something bad.

"I don't know"

"Is that who had been calling you, because telemarketers would have given up by now Ash"

"Yes." I sat down the towel, and crossed my arms.

"What does she want?"

"My attention I'm assuming" She wasn't looking at me, the window in front of her was more interesting.

"She called your dad"

"Yeah, meaning she really wants my attention. And she has it now." I nodded. Putting away the last plate.

"I'm going to say goodbye to Ky, then I think I should head home before its too late and I get grounded." She nodded. She never nods, she always fights to keep me here longer.

"I'll grab my keys."

As I walked away I stopped, turning to see her still looking out the window. Whatever Danni wanted made Ashley uncomfortable, and lieing to me wasn't helping her either. I walked into the living room as Kyla was saying goodnight to Aiden.

"Spence, did you want a ride home. I gotta go that way to pick up some stuff at the store for my mom"

"Ya sure, let me get my stuff." I walked into the kitchen where Ashley was now wiping down the counters.

"Aiden offered me a ride home, since he has to go to the store."

"Okay" She never looked up from wiping the counter.

I walked into Ashley room, my stuff was on the bed in a nice pile. I grabbed my bag, placing everything inside. I didn't like the way Ashley wouldn't talk to me, or how silent she was. I had to give her some space tho, this was her situation and she had to deal with it on her own.

"Text me when you get home?" I jumped, I didn't hear her come in.

"Yeah, I will" I flung my bag onto my shoulder, and walked over to the door. Ashley was back in her chair, journal in hand.

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I just left and went down to meet Aiden. Kyla gave me a worried look, I guess I'm not good at hiding things. I gave her a hug, telling her I would text her later. Aiden opened the door, and followed me to his truck.

"Spencer would you like to go for ice cream?" I smiled, he was always so caring when someone was upset.

"Ice cream sounds perfect"


	26. Dancing With A Stranger

Dancing With A Stranger

Ashley

I was waiting by my car outside of school. Spencer never messaged me saying she got home, she did tell me she was going for ice cream with Aiden. Last night I should have talked to her more about this Danni issue, but how can I talk when I don't know what is going on. I tempted to text her asking what she wanted, all I got was her asking to meet in person.

I watched as Aiden truck pulled in. Kyla got out with Aiden, Spencer following. She looked over at me, said something to Kyla and walked away. I felt a sting in my heart. I don't like knowing she doesn't want to talk to me. I walked over to meet Aiden and my sister.

"What ever you did, fix it Ash."

"I didn't do anything Kyla, Spencer is just being difficult" I rolled my eyes, she really was. This had nothing to do with us, and she didn't have the right to be upset over it.

"Why is she upset at you Ash?" Aiden Asked.

"I have been getting calls lately, and I told her they were telemarketers. Then dad told me about the girl trying to reach me. Spencer saw the name, and found out I was lieing about the calls"

"Okay, so why would that upset her. Why would you say it was telemarketers, who is the girl?"

"Danni"

"What!" I knew Kyla would freak out. Anything to do with that time of my life makes her upset.

"Calm down, she keeps calling and I won't answer"

"Why not, is there a reason why you don't want to talk to her?"

"Kyla she was my ex dealer, why would I want to talk to her?"

"How long has she been trying to contact you?"

"Since my birthday"

"You need to find out what she wants. I get if you don't want to Ash, but if contacted dad. Whatever it is, she will do anything to get it. Just go meet her, and get this cleaned up. Besides its starting to effect your relationship with Spence."

"Ky its not that simple, you just don't get it" My sister rolled her eyes, and handed her bag to Aiden as the bell went.

"I'll be in there in a sec, tell the teach please babe" She grabbed my hand, and we got into Aidens truck.

"Ash what is really going on?"

"Why are you pushing this Kyla. You are the last person I expect to want me to go see her."

"I trust you Ash. I trust that you don't want to hurt us again, or Spencer. I don't want you near her, because I know how weak she can make you. I know how she can convince you, because she already did before. I also know that if you don't lay this to rest, its never going to go away. Text her. Tell her to meet you today after school. Aiden and I will come along"

"She won't meet me with you two there. I'll call Madison" I looked down at my phone, and stared at the picture on my home screen.

"You also need to talk to her too, She just doesn't understand why you lied to her about something so little as this"

"That's the thing Kyla, this was just a little thing. Danni always could make me weak, and make me do things with her. I never wanted to get into harder stuff, but Danni made it sound so appealing and simple. She makes me question my own morals."

"Tell Spencer this, talk. That's all she wants from you" I nodded.

I never met up with Spencer at school. I barely could handle class knowing I was meeting with my own little devil on my shoulder. Madison agreed to come with me, she was also concerned about what Danni wanted. When I arrived at the park, I noticed Madison swinging.

"Hey"

"Hey Ash, you ready for this?"

"No. I figured this shit was out of my life" She nodded, walking with me towards where we are suppose to meet Danni.

We stood on the little bridge over the pond watching the water flow under us. We watched the kids across the pond feed the ducks, then run when they started to come closer. My heart started to beat faster as the time got closer.

"I stopped you know?" I looked over at Madison.

"Stopped?"

"Everything. After you overdosed my parents, and family heard. They begged me to stop, even pot. I didn't at first. Then my baby sister found my stash, and decided to try it. Thank god it was just some boring old pot, and nothing worst. The thought of her overdosing scared me straight."

"I'm happy for you Madison, but you know smoking pot isn't an issue right?"

"I know, but I don't want my sister to think its okay. Then go onto something worst. Look at what Danni did to you"

"What did I do exactly?" My heart stopped at the sound of her voice. I gripped the bridge tighter, as I turned to look at her.

"I didn't know you would be here Madison. Does this mean Davies is coming back to the dark side?" I rolled my eyes.

"No. What is it that you want Danni.?"

"I need you to pay up for the drugs you got from me"

"I didn't get any drugs from you Danni, I've been clean since I overdosed"

"I meant before you went to sleep. Did you really think you wouldn't have to pay for the stuff I supplied you?"

"You are the one that gave them to me, I never asked for them"

"Look I am short, and I know you got the money to cover my loss. So pay up, or else"

"Or else what. Danni stop with the stupid act. Its your own fault you are short, not Ashley's"

"True, but I need money and she has some" I crossed my arms, and looked at her. Danni was in deep water, and she was sinking everyday.

"I'm guessing you need the money by the end of the month?" Her guy always came to collect the week before rent was due.

"You know it. So you going to pay?"

"No she isn't. How pathetic can you get Danni. Ashley is just a fucking teen, she doesn't have money."

"Then she shouldn't of taken the drugs. This is the amount I need" She handed me the paper.

"Where would you like me to get this kind of money Danni, forget it." I started to walk away, with Madison following.

"It would be ashamed for that little girl of yours to be harmed" Is stopped, and looked at Madison.

"Lose the act Danni. We both know you are weak from years of drug use." Madison said.

"I could get one of my friends, you might know them. They use to hang with us all the time." She smirked. I knew who she was talking about, because I watched them attack someone for not paying.

"I will get the money. Just leave Spencer alone." She smiled, and started to walk over to me.

"That's a good girl, now here is a little something to remind you of the fun we use to have. I still scream your name some nights you know" I felt her slide something in my back pocket, as she spoke next to my ear.

"Don't make me come find you again, or maybe I will and we can go down memory lane" I closed my eyes as she grazed her teeth over my earlobe.

"Bye ladies" She waved, walking away over the bridge.

"Ash how are you going to get this money, its almost two grand"

"I have a little saved up in my bank, but I'll need to ask my parents for a loan."

"I'm so sorry Ash."

"Lets get out of here. Sooner I get this over with, the better."I said goodbye, and started to head towards my house. My parents aren't going to be happy about this, but I know if I don't do this then Spencer will get hurt. Not only by me, but by a girl who loves boxing and steroids.


	27. Save Me

**_A/N: Hello my dear readers,_**

_**I would like to say thank you for all the wonderful reviews, likes, and faves for this story. I am back from vacation, that means I will be back in front of the computer writing. I'm sorry if these past chapter brought up some unwanted drama in Ashley life, but its all part of the future chapters. **_

**_Also to answer a few questions that have been asked through PM. _**

**_1) My chapter titles are based off the song I listened to when writing the chapter, yes on repeat. _**

**_2) Christine will be coming into the story in the next chapters._**

**_ 3) Yes I will finish this story, and no I can't tell you how it ends. _**

**_xoxo- Sushi1976_**

Save Me

Ashley

Before I came inside I tried to contact Spencer, but no luck. I know she is upset with me, but I didn't want to bring her into my past. I sat in the car thinking about what I will tell my parents, and if I should just lie about this situation. I decided I have been honest with them this far, I should just continue with that honesty. My sister said she would come home a little late so I would have time to talk to them. I also asked her if Spencer was with her, but she never replied.

"Hello dear daughter of ours, what brings you home early?" my father asked.

"Its not early, School is over" He nodded, then looked at my mom.

"Where is Spencer?"

"With Kyla. Look can I talk to you both, and before you answer can you just hear me out?" They both looked at each other, and setting there drinks down.

"Go on" my father spoke.

"The girl that contacted you looking for me, is Danni. The girl who use to give me drugs"

"Okay" They both replied.

"She has been calling me, texting me, and I have been ignoring it. I didn't want anything to do with her. Finally today I had enough, and I met up with her to see what she wanted." I could feel my palms start to get sweaty.

"That was?" My mother asked.

"She says I owe her for the drugs I took when we were together. She is demanding some money that I can pretty much cover, but I am a little short."

"How short?" They both asked.

"about a thousand" I hung my head, I felt so ashamed for asking this of my parents.

"I thought in order to even get drugs you would have to pay for them, so what she gave you drugs and said I'll bill you later?"

"No. We use to um...hang out and she would just offer them to me."

"So you fucking took them!" my mom was really upset now.

"I'm sorry okay, I fucked up and I'm still paying for it!"

"No Ashley we are, and you are going to pay us right back understood!" my father stood, crossing his arms.

"Yes sir"

"Ashley how old is this girl?" My mother asked, making my father and I look at her.

"Older why?"

"When you say hang out, you mean you were seeing her sexually?" I nodded

"Why does that fucking better Amy?"

"Ashley is she older as in her 20's?" I knew where this was going, and this was what I didn't want to talk about.

"Yes"

"I don't get it" my father sat back down, turning to my mom for answers.

"Ralfie this Danni girl was an adult, who was sleeping with our daughter, and supplying her with drugs" I looked into my father eyes, then seemed to become darker as he understood what she was trying to get at.

"It was rape"

"No no no it wasn't okay. I consented to it. I wanted it. The sex and the drugs. Please just forget about what happen in the past, and can we move on?"

"No I won't! This girl has ruined my daughter! She took advantage of you!" My father was now pacing the floor, and tears were in my mothers eyes.

"Dad, mom, please. What happen in the past is in my past. Nothing happen that I didn't want to happen. The drugs made the pain, hate, and anger go away. The sex was just sex. Please can we drop this now?"

"Fine, but I still think we should put that see you next Tuesday in prison" my mother said, taking drink of her wine.

"Really mom, you can't say cunt?" We all laughed, and my father took a seat next to my mother.

"We will give you the money, but I think you should pay us back full" my dad said.

"Okay, I will start looking for a job now" I got up from my seat.

"No need. I need some help down at the bar. You start tomorrow, right after work" I couldn't argue with that.

"Okay. Thank you" They both got up and gave me hugs.

"I'll go to the bank tonight, and tomorrow morning you will have it in your bank account" My father said, taking a sip of his drink.

As I walked out of the living room into the kitchen, I came face to face with Spencer. She looked up at me with a sad look on her face, I just wanted to hug her to make it go away. I walked over to the table, taking a seat in front of her.

"How long have you been here?"

"I pulled in when you were heading inside. Kyla said I should come talk to you. I was going to walk in there, but you were having a conversation and I didn't want to intrude"

"Did you..."

"Yeah, and I wish you trusted me enough to tell me Ashley. I hate that you thought you should have lied to me"

"I didn't..."

"I know, but everyone past comes back once in a while. I need to except that, and be willing to help you when you need it. That's what being in a relationship is all about"

"I'm sorry Spencer, this will be all over tomorrow I promise" She smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

"I love you Ash"

"I love you too baby, how about we go up to my room and make up for lost time?"

"Fuck ya!" I laughed, as she took off running up to my room.

I slid my hands into my back pocket, about to go after her. I stopped as I pulled the baggie that Danni gave me out. I looked up at the stairs, then back at the baggie.

"Ash you coming?"

"Yeah Spence, just getting water" I slid it back into my pocket, and grabbing some water. I will flush it down the toilet so no one finds it.

**Next up... Christine...**


	28. Change

Change

Ashley

Its been two months since I had to go to my parents about Danni. My father made me is little janitor, and my mom made me a slave to the kitchen. After school I would go and work for my father, then had home for dinner. By the time I was done my homework, I was already falling asleep in my bed. Weekends kept me busy with Spencer, but lately I haven't really spending time with her. Its not that I don't love her, or want to be with her. I just have been feeling so tired, and I have no energy to do anything on the weekend. The last time we even spent time together was a couple of weekends ago, and now we don't even text anymore.

We were sitting in the cafe eating lunch with Aiden and my sister. I think they know something is going on between us, but they haven't said anything. I feel like I can't even talk to Spencer, its like I lost the privilege to even touch her hand. When we walk through the halls I want to reach down for her hand, but I'm afraid of rejection. If I were her, I would dump my ass a long time ago.

The bell went off, and for some reason I just didn't move. Neither did she. Kyla and Aiden looked at us, gave us a nod then took off. I watched the rest of the students walk out of cafe, and the teachers following them. I place my hands in my lap, and bit my lip. I wanted to talk, I just wanted to open my mouth and say something to her.

"I think we need to take a break" I looked over at her, her blue eyes looking right at me.

"What?"

"Something is going on with you, and again you won't talk to me about it"

"I'm just tired Spencer. Between working with my father, school, and you Im exhusted."

"So take time to do you. You can't stop working with your father, or you're school work. You are getting burned out Ash"

"So that means I have to lose you?" Now I was getting angry.

"You won't lose me. I just think you need sometime to just do you for a bit."

"Are we breaking up?" I was waiting for an answer. I looked over at her, she wiped a tear from her eyes.

"I think we both need time to figure out what we want"

"Spencer I will be done working for my father at the end of the week, and then its just you and I"

"Please Ash, don't make this harder then it is. We are only in high school, who knows what the future brings." I watch her get up, and start heading towards the doors.

"Spencer!" I ran after her, pulling her back into me.

"Ash please, just let me go"

"This isn't just about me, what is going on?"

"I love you Ashley." Her lips were on mine, then gone. I opened my eyes and she was gone.

What just happen. I walked over and kicked a chair, then took a seat on the table. I sat there going over everything that just was said. My knuckles were hurting from gripping the table, my chest started to hurt as I tried not to let the tears fall from my eyes.

"Ash?" I looked up and saw my little sister looking at me.

"We broke up" She walked over taking a seat next to me.

"She text me. Ash I am so sorry"

"Its my fault, I've been busy and didn't have time for her"

"Ash she understood that, she never complained about you working for dad. She understood that you had no choice."

"Then why did you break up with me. She knew I was done this weekend." I stood up and ran my hand through my hair.

"I wish I could answer that, but I didn't even know you guys were having troubles." I looked over at Kyla.

"Really, you didn't notice the distance between her and I. How we barely talked, how she never was with me on the weekends"

"She said you both were busy, and she understood. That she couldn't wait till you were done working for your dad."

"I hate this Kyla. This pain I'm feeling, I want it gone."

"That my dear sister, is called a broken heart. There is no cure for it, you just need time" she walked over, wrapping her arms around me.

"I love her Ky, I love her so much" I finally couldn't hold it anymore, I finally just let the tears fall.


	29. Hate Myself

Hate Myself

Spencer

I leaned against the wall as I watch the love of my life fall apart in her sisters arms. It broke my heart to see her like that, I just wanted to run to her. I wiped my tears, and walked out towards my car. I couldn't go to class, I couldn't face her. I know she would be there, she had to be. Ash was under so much pressure from her parents, and she wouldn't mess it up by missing class.

My parents would still be at work, leaving me home alone. I layed down in my bed staring at my ceiling. I thought about everything that has has taken place in my life. My friends, my family, Ashley. I looked over at a picture I had of my brother and I. I missed him, he was my best friend. I hate that he wasn't here with us, with me. I walked over to my computer turning on my music, I needed to keep my mind busy. I had enough homework to do to keep my mind busy till my parents got home.

I tried to not feel the pain I was feeling, but it was harder then I realized. Ashley came into my life and made a big impact. I knew being worth her was taking a risk. With her drug history, and are futures being different...we were screwed.

"Spencer why are you home?" I jumped.

"Hey mom, what are you doing home early?"

"Got done work early. Explain why you are here and not sitting in a classroom"

"I wasn't feeling good. I brought home my homework tho." She nodded.

"Okay well make sure you rest okay?" I nodded.

She left with the door open just a bit. I walked over closing it, and laying back onto my bed. My pillow smelt like Ash. I picked it up and through it on the ground. It didn't help that I use to put her sweater around it. I missed her so much. I let the tears fall, and closed my eyes letting sleep take over.

Ashley

After letting everything out in the cafe, I couldn't go to class. I called my parents telling them I wasn't feeling good. They let me go home. I also noticed Spencer wasn't at school either, at lease her car wasn't. My sister offered to keep me company, but I said no.

I drove around for a bit, stopping to get a coffee. I knew if I went home I was just going to wallow in bed, and I wasn't going to allow that. I pulled down a street that I have come to know very well. I pulled up to the curb, shutting off the engine. I looked ahead, there she was. Christine.

My father asked me to clean his office to earn extra money. It wasn't too busy so I agreed. While going through his papers I found her information. At first I didn't care about it, but then I guess I got curious. When I first came I never saw her, but the next time she was outside watering her plants. I knew it was her, I look just like her. Couple of weekends ago I finally got the courage to actually go talk to her, but soon as I got the end of the drive way a little boy and a man came out. I stopped in my tracks, and turned around when the little boy called her mom.

I never told anyone, not even Spencer. I guess that's the same time we became distant. I kept thinking about what it was about me that she didn't like. Did I cry to much, was I too much for her, why did she love this little boy enough to stay. I wanted answers, but I was afraid to get them. As I watch her go back inside, and started my car taking off the other direction.

Spencer

My parents woke me up for dinner, but never asked much of me. Usually they want me to do dishes, but I think they knew I wasn't really sick. We sat down and watched a movie together, like we use to. The movie was almost over when the door bell went off. My father got up to answer it, I took this time to look at my phone. I had a missed call from Kyla.

"Spence, its for you" I rolled my eyes, she can't get a hold of me so she just shows up. Figures. I walked over to the door, and stopped when I realize it wasn't Kyla.

"Hey, can we talk?" I looked over at my dad, he gave me a nod and walked back into the living room.

"Let's go outside" I slipped on a sweater by the door, and walked outside to the front steps.

"I'm sorry for just showing up like this, but I couldn't just let this go. Not without knowing why. I have enough questions about things in my life Spencer, I can't take more"

"Ash I'm moving" I didn't have look at her to see her expression.

"What, when, where?"

"I got early acceptance from a university I really want to attend."

"Wait so your not moving till after school is done?"

"Yeah but I'm still leaving Ash." She got up from the steps, folding her arms looking down at me.

"That's why you fucking broke up with me! Spencer I though I did something! I thought this was my fault! You moving doesn't mean we have to break up, it just means..."

"It means everything Ash! You don't even know what you plans are for after school! You never even applied anywhere! There is no future for us Ash, and I wasn't going to put us through that pain the rest of the year."

"That's not your choice to make!"

"It is when it involves my own heart. I can't be with you knowing its all going to end. I can't fall more in love with you Ash. Not when I know that once we cross that stage, we will never be together"

"Spencer I don't have plans, that means my plans can be where ever you are" I know she was desperate, I know she wanted this to work. She had already lost enough, she wasn't ready to lose me too.

"Ash you can't follow me, you need your own plans. I thought you wanted to travel, see the world?"

"I don't know what I want okay! I do know I want you! Please Spencer let me decide what I want! I'm tired of people choosing how my life is going to be like! This is my life, I choose what I want!" I got up pulling her into me, wrapping my arms around her.

"Okay, okay shh its okay baby" I felt her tears fall.

"Spence please I don't want you out of my life. I love you. I rather have you now knowing I might not have you after, then not have you at all."

"I love you Ash, I just don't want us both hurting at the end"

"It will happen, but maybe it won't. Won't know till we try right?" I nodded.

"Okay, lets do it. Lets be together till the end"

"Why does this sound like a ride or die kind of moment" I laughed, pulling her into me.

"I Love you so much Ash"

"I love you too Spence."


End file.
